i got nuthin.

my newest scarf
Originally uploaded by mamazilla1972.

it's september. and as i mentioned before, i f*cking hate september.

i've finished reading lahiri's "the namesake", am attempting to finish irving's "until i find you" and haddons' "the curious incident in the night with the dog" and looking for a floppy hat pattern to go with the new scarf i just finished knitting, pictured above (fyi - classic elite tigress yarn, size 35 needles, CO 5 stitches, garter stitch for 96 " and BO, then cut 60 pcs - 18" long for fringe. voila! brilliant scarfage!).

today in chicago, mother nature's been channelling sybil and it's cold enough that i'm wearing a sweatshirt in the house and wondering if i need to pop the chilly toilet seats in the microwave to get 'em toasty, before we use them. anyhoo...

i just recently found out that two very dear friends of mine are having problems with their marriage (to each other) and one of my BEST friends is taking care of her mother who has terminal pancreatic cancer.

and i mean, JUST found out...

so, i wasted what little blogging time i have by desperately googling the internet and the blogs (only to slap my forehead, thinking "duh, tell me something i don't know") to find new ideas/ways to help my friends besides saying, "i'm here whenever you need me." which i'm sure they've "known" and yet, i find this out now... SO late in the game, that i feel like an *sshole. all along i think i'm a pretty good friend and then all hell breaks loose....

the general history is that i'll call/email to check in on friends and i won't get a call/email back. and usually, it's of no consequence. i hear news later from the grapevine of our mutual friends. so, i try not to worry in the interim. i'm a reluctant follower of the"no gnus is good gnus" generation.

i tell myself that people are busy. that despite all the technology that is supposed to make more time for us and for our social lives, we just never have enough time to make that 5 second phonecall to say,"hey. quit f*cking calling me. i'm ok and i love you. buh-bye." it's so new millenium....

but, the reality is you, well, WE... DO have the time to make that call.

so, on behalf of all those friends who you've been meaning to call for days, weeks, months, years (egads!) and haven't. call them and tell them your good news and your bad news, your new phone number, your new address, your new identity, your new pant size, whatever...

and do it because you love your friends, if not because you love yourself. do it because it breaks our hearts when we find out about it from the grapevine, after the fact, on your blog or on your myspace page. do it because you don't want your friends to obsess about whether or not they're "good" friends (who warrant a phonecall) or if there really is a good and just *insert deity here* who indeed has a divine and loving plan for everyone and everything...

and lastly, do it because we really don't know what to do when it's too late to do anything.

JUST GET ON THE HORN. THIS MEANS YOU. (AND YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.)