porkchop's music request

a very long while ago, a friend of the thin man gave him two old iphones she didn't need anymore. we decided to give them to porkchop & paloma (for music and games only) provided they achieved certain tasks...

paloma recived hers at the end of the last school year for doing so well academically. porkchop was to receive his when he completed a full series of swim lessons...

it hasn't happened yet because he would not get in the pool... he would kick and scream and have complete meltdowns in the shower room... for some reason, he had some huge irrational fear of the pool at the local Y. we started taking him to the pool by ourselves during free swims and after a few tries, he finally got in the pool and has been making progress... but he didn't complete a full series last time.

tomorrow, he will start a new series of swim classes... he's REALLY excited. :)

so i asked him (my 5yo), "porkchop, what music do you want me to put on your iphone?" he responded with the following... (clearly, he is influenced by his parents' musical tastes... *facepalm*)

"i want...













and all the beach boys songs."

funny and disturbing... i know. *sigh* currently, we're watching the looney tunes (as i cough and wheeze thru this upper respiratory infection) - he may ask for opera next... :) hope your week is going smoothly...

happy valentines day!!! :)

i remember when i was still in college (*cough*90s*cough*) wishing i knew the sentiments in this song, these lyrics... and how wonderful it is now, to not only know it, but feel it deeply and elicit these feelings in someone else i love so dearly...



"Sky of ink and diamond stars
empty streets of just occasional cars

here we lie in a lullaby
of the stillness in our room.

Words are unable to speak of love
like a smile in a whisper does
words are unable to speak of love
like a smile in a whisper does.

All of the letters and all of the words
in all of the books all over the world

they're nothing but sounds and vowels and nouns
for talking to stranger that's all they're worth.

Words are unable to speak of love
like a smile in a whisper does
words are unable to speak of love
like a smile in a whisper does.

Orchestra of tiny harps
it's like pepper sprinkled on our hearts

we're threading a needle with boxing gloves
when we try and talk about love.

Words are unable to speak of love
like a smile in a whisper does
words are unable to speak of love
like a smile in a whisper does. "

phoenix

i've been listening to aimee mann's "@#%&*! Smilers" and her song, phoenix, has been on my mind a lot... sometimes, i actually skip it... so i think maybe it's just a sign for me to write it... out? off? away?

anyway, the lyrics remind me (and probably everyone else) of a former flame - mine was a fine, young man from arizona. we were together for a few years... here in chicago and later, in san francisco. (BTM - before thin man.)

we met as mutual friends/parts of an artsy circle from college - film folks who worked with costume folks who talked shop with fashion design folks, etc... we drank. we dated. we threw caution to the wind and moved in together too fast...

but, i firmly believe we really and truly loved. i have such lovely memories of reading books together under blankets and hats in our apartment with no working heater... collaborating on work - my words/poetry, my body swipe, even the apartment made appearances in his short ambient films... al fresco picnics on blankets... a lot of sunny laughter and music... even the dark days when there was a small death... with day after night of regret and despair.... contemplating marriage and babies and cats... so much discovery and wonder and heavy thinking... and saying i love you and meaning it...

i moved to san francisco first... for work. there was even a teary "frank capraesque" see ya later at a train station platform and everything...

and our plan was for him to come out when he graduated.... which he did. and then a few months later, he decided to move to los angeles... for work. there was a teary goodbye... and then he actually came back after only a few minutes away, crying... saying he couldn't leave... it was very cameron crowe... it was hard for me to let go too.

but i got him to leave and then, we blundered our way thru a breakup... slowly... and over a handful of awkward long distance phonecalls...

and this is where aimee mann reminds me:

"i don't want to abandon you,
but baby i've had my fill....

and if you get the chance again...
i know you'd do the best you can.
but baby love doesn't change anything at all.
i know love doesn't change a thing"

'cause what neither of us was ready to accept, even though it was painfully evident - was that we were over. that we were headed in different directions. that the love was still there, but love wasn't going to change where our lives were taking us...

looking back now, i'm glad we met. and loved. and lost each other at last.

sometimes i just want to draw all day...

Coldplay - Strawberry Swing (Official HD Video) from swashbuckley on Vimeo.

sailed off thru night and day, in and out of weeks...

have shipwrecked on beach. discovered wild things.
shoes are wet. otherwise, am ok. little scared... but ok.


"I took my lucky break and I broke it in two.
Put on my worried shoes, my worried shoes.

Took me so many miles, and they never wore out.
My worried shoes. My worried shoes.

oo oo oo oooooo oooooo, my worried shoes.

I made a mistake that I never forgot.
Tied knots in the laces of my worried shoes.

Every step that I take is another mistake.
I march further and further away in my worried shoes.

oo oo oo oooooo oooooo, my worried shoes.

My shoes took me down a crooked path.
Away from our welcome mats, my worried shoes.

I looked all around and saw the sun shining down.
Took off my worried shoes, my worried shoes.

oo oo oo ooooo oooooo, oo oo oo ooooo oooooo, my worried shoes."

"mama filipina"

just an fyi - i have a new post up over at filipina moms blog called "mama filipina"

and i'm just posting this again because... um, i can. :)




my sister and i have been emailing each other a lot lately. email has been such a godsend - although i miss getting actual letters in the mail (on silly sanrio stationary with twin stars or my melody on them), it amazes me how close she feels even though she's half a world away.

she's (and her husband) getting ready for her move to canada and crossing off all "the things to do" on her growing list... it's sad to hear that she is leaving for the same reasons our mother left decades ago - lucrative employment opportunities, "better" living conditions, a "safer" place to raise future children, money to send home, etc... and now, somewhat closer to family...

it's not a move that she's eager to make, but one that she feels is the right thing to do for this time in her life. she's worried about our father who will stay behind in manila as well as our other sister and her family and the extended family. she doesn't mention her friends very much, i think saying goodbye to them will be just as heartbreaking as saying goodbye to blood relatives.

above is the video for "mama filipina" by apl.de.ap of the black eyed peas from his upcoming solo album "u can dream". i've been listening to it a lot lately. it's really been inspiring me to finish a book i've been trying to write about my mother and my childhood in chicago as part of an immigrant family.

i should really send a link to my sister. and come to think of it although my mom HATES "modern" music, i really think she'd appreciate the lyrics and nostalgia that apl.de.ap revisits in the song and the video.

i may not have been born there. but often, i miss the philippines as if i was. it seems like everytime i go "home", someone else is missing, having left for the states or canada or new zealand, or worse - passed away, etc... what will it be like, one day, when i don't know anyone there anymore and i am truly a tourist just visiting?