Thursday, June 29, 2006


rewiring entry
Originally uploaded by mamazilla1972.

sometimes i think i might be traumatizing my children for life with my various and sundry idiosyncrasies and neuroses... other times i think they're probably going to be traumatized by all the stuff we're doing to the house - wood stripping, rewiring the electricity, painting, the odd fix it jobby on the "honey do" list here and there, etc ...

in this most recent week, while we had the whole house rewired, the kids have been unable to take regularly scheduled naps and consequently, they metamorphose into itty bitty attention sucking vampires with high pitched whining that makes your eyes bleed.

and their nightime sleep is affected - more so with b'zilla than k'zilla (who had a very wet accident in her bed the other night - YUCK). and when they don't sleep well - i don't sleep well, which makes for a very crabby mamazilla in the morning, well... all day usually... but i digress....

anyway, yesterday, the electricians finished all their dust moving and wire pulling and wall breaking. *insert HALLELUJAH! chorus here*

and wouldya believe they found (or rather unearthed) 15 wall sconces?! (or rather the locations of wall sconces that were originally part of the house.) they also put "All That Runs Electric" to rights... all previously mysterious light switches now have a purpose! EUREKA!

i walked thru the house, which is a very bright house indeed with all it's windows, and turned on all the lights. it was like i was just resurfacing from an extended stay underground...

i mean we had lights throughout the house, but in some areas we put in one light or just replaced an existing fixture with a new one and voila!

well, ok... you see more dustbunnies to vaccuum up and more walls to scrub & wash... :) but hey, really - it makes the basement, for example, seem less gratuitous slasher flick and more low budget B movie.

well, the b'zilla is crying and i've lost what little train of thought i had... i swear i had something to ponder... must go heat up my coffee for the third time this a.m. - and no, i haven't e'en tasted it yet.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

do you see a jellyfish?

so, we were putzin' around with the mini doodle board when k'zilla says to me,"mommy, THIS is a jellyfish, ok? now, YOU draw a jellyfish."

this is a jellyfish.
Originally uploaded by mamazilla1972.

so, i drew this:

this is not a jellyfish.
Originally uploaded by mamazilla1972.

to which she condescendingly replied, "THIS is NOT a jellyfish." and there you have it - 5 years of art school WASTED!

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Happy Father's Day, Popzilla!!!!

k'zilla (circa 16mos) horsing around with popzilla...

we sent the "king" o' the household to "Ye Olde King's Barber" .
then, he has the rest of the day OFF!


Friday, June 16, 2006

time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin' into the future....

here i am thinking it's only been a few days since my last post - HA! i take it back i'm not sleep deprived, i'm just a walking lobotomy. i can prove it too.

yesterday, i called popzilla URGENTLY. (dude, i mean like my eyebrows were on fire or something....)

this is how the call went:

P - hey, what's up?
M - hey there! *ELABORATE sigh * can you remember to please, PLEASE, get stamps?!
P - uh, sure. are you okay?
K (in background) - who you talkin' to mommy?
B (in foreground) - WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
M - i'm talking to daddy. yeah, i'm just so P*SSED! i finally get myself and the kids fed, changed and out the door and we walk ALL the way to the drugstore to get stamps, which of course takes three hours longer than usual 'cause k'zilla is walking and picking every dandelion in sight! and...
K - no, you're NOT!? hahahahahahaha!!!! silly goose!!!
P - yeah? and what?
M - and... and... i got stamps. *completely deflating now* they're in this plastic bag hanging from the stroller. right now. and i have no idea why i am calling you.
M - ok. i'm gonna go. bye. say goodbye to daddy. *click*
K - BYE DADDY!!!!!!

above cellphone exchange = walking lobotomy

ARRRGH!!!! my eyes! MY EYES!!!!!

whatever you do, don't google images for "lobotomy".

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

that's not pigeon doodoo, that's baby food...

just checking to see if this actually works...

Thursday, June 08, 2006

california dreamin' cont'd...


hey, kids! can you say - fiasco? fee-*SS-ko....

it involved a day of very little planning, four families with multiple children, two dogs, 103 degree heat, a giant inflatable jumperoo, a GIANT inflatable slide and more than one p*ssed off mamazilla. and this is what i learned (or what i should have known or... well, you'll see...)

a) always plan like no one else has made plans - especially when you realize that the plan you were told about has already been altered the minute you step thru the door (fyi - i know this, but i assume EVERY parent knows this and values their own sanity, like me).

for example, when the PLAN is hang out at point B for a few hours so that the kids can play and then return to point A for lunch (not breakfast, not brunch, not dinner). that's what you're going to do - that's what EXPECTED you're going to do.

but, when you arrive at point B (on time @ 10 a.m.), only to find that there's more food than you expected -and it's lunch kind of food, not your random playdate fare or what i like to call the "supermodel feast". and that the playdate hosts and some of the other expected attendees are running behind schedule. you just know, like rosemary and damien's mom, that somehow, something, is just NOT right.

for some reason, the whole time i kept trying to convince myself, "it'll work out. you're NOT going to leave here hungry, tired or p*ssed off from the playdate. it's not like we're going to be here around 4 o'clock."

we didn't leave until 4 o'clock and i was hungry, tired and p*ssed off, just like popzilla, k'zilla and b'zilla.

b) children w/ little or no food and naps taken too late - do not mix (ditto parenthetical above).

let's say, you're three years old. on vacation. in a different house with toys that you don't have at your home. and dogs.

are you going to eat something (no, 1 potato chip does not make a meal/snack) and/or (GOD FORBID!) take a nap (at your scheduled naptime) and waste PRECIOUS time playing with and in water on an enormous primary colored waterslide, or bouncing in the air on a huge primary colored jumperoo, or making sand creations in a big clean sandbox or playing catch with two really friendlly dogs that salivate profusely?

no, you're not.

and lucky for you, the other parents and grandparents really don't seem to care what their children do or don't do either.

so, where does that leave your mommy and daddy? S.O.L. that's where that leaves mommy and daddy. because when you're a three year old, all you know is that you're overtired and hungry and you automatically assume that high-pitched screaming, crying and whining might get you something you want or a ride to somewhere else that you'd rather be. it seems to work for your younger counterparts anyway....

c) babies are creatures of habit - woe is she who alters that habit. just say no (ditto parenthetical above).

mamazillas are always thinking of new and efficient ways of getting things accomplished. ALWAYS. we all use our higher education and workplace honed skills to manage our daily lives at home. i'll even admit that some nights i will lay awake at night and try to plan/strategize the next day or virtually organize a new user friendly pantry. dude, if i could spreadsheet my life, i would. it sounds pathetic, i know, but i see it as still using my God given "talents". they're not languishing in a dilapidated trunk in the cobwebbed closet that is my dual hemispheric grey matter.

so, when i was back in chicago, i came up with this INGENIOUS plan to bathe b'zilla while in palm springs. since i realized i wouldn't have time to do it at home, i figured i could do it when we got to point B where they also have an infant and most likely an infant bathtub.
but, when we got to point B, the other mamazilla was... shall we say... slightly overexcited for me to use their bathtub. so much so that i felt impelled to use it - immediately after she showed it to me (i'd been at the playdate about 10 minutes and happened to mention it) and in the fashion she uses it with her infant (in the big bathtub with the most INTENSE water pressure known to man).

after traumatizing a screaming b'zilla for what seemed like an eternity (in reality - what? like 8 minutes?) i opted to wait until we got back to chicago to give him a bath.
oh, whatever, f*cking shoot me, ok? he gets bathed in the kitchen sink with the kitchen faucet. that's how he likes it. and frankly, that's how my back and knees like it. i was an *sshole for not waiting until their kitchen sink was free. i deserved the screaming fit.
never. again.

d) do not disappoint in any way shape or form the mamazilla in law (ditto parenthetical above).

see, now i woulda thunk that this was a no-brainer. who in their right mind wants to p*ss off their mamazilla in law? certainly not me. my mamazilla in law does not suffer fools or bullsh*t gladly.

i hella LOVE my mamazilla in law!

what i didn't realize was that my mamazilla in law is not EVERY ones mamazilla in law. so, nobody gave a sh*t except me and popzilla that her plans were being ripped to shreds. and that we were most likely going to get new ones ripped into us when we got back to her house. fortunately, she was more disappointed that one family totally blew her off to read us the riot act. ha. they'll be lucky if they get a stamp for christmas this year. love it when the trash talk at dinner has nothing to do with me! LOVE IT! way to dodge that bullet!

anyway, at the end of the second day, mamzilla rested (after making a few voodoo dolls) and it was good.

on the third day, the zillas did nothing (ok, we re-packed a little - because on the fourth day, the zillas were taking a road trip to huntington beach and anaheim. wee-HA!) and it was SO good!


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