Saturday, October 30, 2004 you needed proof that i'm hormonal...

so, much to my delight - mothers and company came back to prove me hormonal. not like anyone needed proof - it's been quite evident ever since the 7th grade.

anyway, mothers & co found another group with an opening and children the same age as e. so, without much in the way of "below-standard-daytime-melodrama", e and i were branded and given the secret entry handshake. i really hope this works out 'cause this branding looks permanent.

so, to update, the rest of friday was insane. it had started well indeed and slowly unraveled into a miasmatic (is that a word?) dimension of h*ll. d asked me if e liked the train rides. of COURSE, she liked the train rides. did I like the train rides? um, in a word, NO! to ride a train with e is like injecting her with pure caffeine. i think i avoided a couple of lawsuits - harassment by cheerio, death by stroller and random acts of infant vandalism - and i don't think i burst a blood vessel.

because that happened on the NEXT train ride. i rarely have a hard time on the L so, the law of averages bit my *ss this time. e managed to get away from me at the lasalle st stop. and the last vision i had before my blood vessel burst was of e running out to the platform while i was stuck struggling to free myself and the stroller from the clutches of the the dreaded turnstile. do we not possess the technology to replace the archaic turnstile? is this what they are hiding in area 51?!

so, thanks to the powers that be, e did not fall to her untimely death and i was saved by a bored transit employee.

finally, we arrived at our (first) destination and the pediatrician's conclusion - e is very tall and of average weight though still something of a pinhead. but, all in all - a beautiful healthy girl.

*heavens open, sunlight streams thru, cherubims sing* .... and that will be $65 please.

that marvelous day continued with an entirely too lengthy walk for me and e (in stroller) and a headache that i still have despite the walkabout ending at the chiropractor office. afterwards, d met us at the office and drove us home in very unhappy, heavy, third world traffic.

my conclusion - none of us were likely candidates for darwin awards that "banner" day - SO YAY US! :)

p.s. laundry still not done. made yummy pork chops for dinner!

Wednesday, October 27, 2004


i REALLY have to do the laundry and whip up dinner... so i'll make this quick.

a) speaking of laundry. d needs to go back to the eye doc or something. i keep finding e's clothes in my piles and my clothes is e's piles. mind you - e is the average 19mo baby daughter. i am 5'4" and apprx 120 lbs. how could i possibly fit into an 18mo outfit? and conversely, how could an 18mo fit into anything i wear without it puddling to the ground (assuming it of course stayed ON)?

b) another thought i had today... i think my strollers are conspiring against me or at least trying to sway this undecided voter. the maclaren (the imported) stroller has lately been leaning left. SERIOUSLY. it has never done this before. with very little forward action, the maclaren will steer left.

but what's even STRANGER... the (gently used, domestic) baby jogger II that i just recently bought from K leans right. no kidding. with very little forward push, the jogging stroller steers right. it's very odd.

i'm still undecided, but noticing that i'm using the jogging stroller more often than the maclaren. i'm going to stop talking about this because it's giving me the willies - a little too "Bobos in Paradise" for me.

c) i have to remember to:

cancel my hair appt, reschedule for 6 wks from now.
make a new chiro appt
call the electrician again (the things i do for halloween)
send netflix movies back
call d&s for final $ amt owed to them & for v's #
call cat groomers for appt.

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

what am i feeling today...

besides mild cramping? hmm...

i guess frustration.

i'm disappointed that e and i have been placed in a playgroup with a 4mo, a6mo and a 10mo. that bugs me, frankly. i will most likely not join this playgroup. thanks for nothing, "mothers & co".

i'm bummed that instead of greeting me with a "good morning", i get a "you HAVE to air the house out. it smells like chicken." good freaking morning to you too!

i'm exhausted just looking at the kitchen. i never seem to make a dent in there. and we even use paper plates - A LOT!

my "workday" starts the minute i wake up and doesn't end until e goes down. that's what? a 12 hour day? and i can't even apply for workers comp or harassment. if i had a dime for every elbow to the nose/breast/windpipe. i would be.... broke, but not penniless.

i feel absolutely crummy today... we're ordering in.

Friday, October 22, 2004

please pimp your ride....

so, e and i almost got run over today while crossing a street with a four way stop in our HUGE RED jogging stroller.

this guy is talking on his cell phone (of course). the bass on his stereo system is turned WAY up - so far up that the windows are shaking. e and i were already in the intersection. the guy in a HOOPTI BEIGE MINIVAN (!) is approaching the stop sign and blows it! *insert schreech here* missing my posterior by inches...

so, please unknown man. stay off yer cell and pimp yer ride... ya look RIDICULOUS!!!

Thursday, October 21, 2004

ya learn something new everyday

i just saw the weirdest looking bird... the cassowary. it is a flightless, fast running, pugnacious forest dwelling bird in Australia and Malay, smaller than the ostrich and emu. i don't quite get the evolution of the freaky helmet used for "forest crashing". there's a fashion victim if i ever saw one. i also learned that the ostrich DOES NOT actually bury it's head in the sand. is NO metaphor sacred!?

apparently, we will not be running haphazardly with the other frenzied children tomorrow (DARN!) and next week, swim class is cancelled due to the repairing of a hole (strangely, a perfect women's size 8) in the pool. it's a mystery.

the plastic spiders arrived and have been de-ringed. they are ringless. strange how they keep popping up everywhere. i suspect the cats get into the bag and toss them around willy nilly in the twilight hours.

the severed bloody hand is very disappointing... the designer/manufacturer is a hack. you'd think they'd never seen a hand before. hmmm, in some circles that last statement could be considered very politically incorrect. i apologize.

today is my fourth wedding anniversary and all i can think of as a gift for d is the third season of the simpsons. not a shining moment for me. i'm usually much more creative. it's a beautiful day- i wish he wasn't working. :(

so, i checked out that virtual model website ( .
and this sorta looks like me.
it's very disturbing. Posted by Hello

Monday, October 11, 2004

all i want is a GIANT bag of spiders!!!

so... that's the extent of my imagination when it comes to halloween.... i want to litter the front yard, steps and porch with plastic spiders. there's a simplicity to it that appeals to me.

you want candy? the least you can do is walk thru a legion of black spiders... mwahahahahahaha! and yet, i can't find a bag of black spiders - anywhere. there is obviously a shortage of black spiders - my idea is not so original after all.

still no ideas about costumes for e. clown, bobbysoxer, and tinkerbell are no longer in the realm of possibilities. this morning, tattoo from fantasy island came up... still ruminating over that one.

my pumpkins look awesome. i carved a ghost in one and a skull head on another. the trip to children's farm was worth it - worth the crazy baby pigs chasing after my daughter, worth the cold that it seems i'm developing from who knows what that i picked up, worth the little kids staring at me (some things just never change)... achoo! achoo!

ugh. achoo! looking forward to this weekend in lake geneva! must find a more flattering swimsuit!

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

hearing loss

i think i've experienced hearing loss since the birth of e. can i apply for workers comp/disability?

the pantry has sprung a drip. turns out the tank to the upstairs toilet was leaking... i think it was lamenting since no one uses it. it's e's bathroom - she can't even say "potty". and so, the hemorraging of money continues.

oh! and i can't open the front door. the lock jammed. ... a call to the locksmith is in. why do i have to be here when the locksmith arrives? it's not like he can't let himself in. ok, yeah, there is the whole security factor... but really, in an ideal world... he could come in, fix the lock and bill me. well, he could....

...must. start. reading... middlesex/eugenides for book club! if only to prove to myself that i can still read past the kindergarten level.

hmm, i think i have been food poisioned by the wendy's.


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