look out! i'm old!

this really isn't news to me... i had a sneaking suspicion i was old back in high school when i discovered my first grey hair.

i had really long hair in high school. i remember standing with my hands crossed behind my back and being able to feel the weight and shine of my hair laced in my fingers.

but, there it was - the lone long silvery thin ripple hidden deep under a dark brown black wave...
my mom told me that it was considered good luck for someone my age to have grey hair.
it portended wisdom. (that's like telling a bride that it's lucky when it rains on your wedding day.) i didn't believe her.

that summer, i visited my family in the philippines to attend my sis' graduation. my oldest sister graduated valedictorian of her class, was a star swimmer and sang in a prestigious chorus. she also had salt and pepper hair. so, i guessed my mom couldn't be totally wrong and since then, my grey hair and i have cohabitated quite well....

...UNTIL NOW!!!

i was in a hip little boutique yesterday. it's a very cute shop that sells nanette lepore, free people, bcbg stuff, etc... the woman who owns the boutique was very complimentary to me and very attentive. she was sure that i would fit into a size 2 (HA!). i was having a really fun time. i really liked this beautiful pair of pants from poleci. but, the pants were embellished by some folksy kind of embroidery on the side seams. it's amazing how far you have to go with babyproofing your life...

me: "these pants are beautiful but my daughter would have a field day with the embroidery".
she: "how old is your daughter?"
me: "almost two years"
she: "oh, i thought you had a teen. i thought you were worried that she would be raiding your closet for them."

YOU THOUGHT I HAD A TEEN!!?? DO YOU REALIZE I USED TO BE MISTAKEN FOR A TEEN!!?? NOW, I LOOK LIKE I HAVE A TEEN!!!!???

needless to say i walked out of there without those pants...

the experience actually reminded me of the time when i was talking with a college freshman who didn't know who kurt cobain was.

or another time when i was wearing a cute t-shirt with hong kong phooey on it .

a younger twenty something co-worker of mine saw my shirt and said, "cute shirt. but, who's that dog?"

i'm thinking, hmmm. maybe it's not a good picture of him and i say, "it's hong kong phooey... from the cartoon show... late 70s early 80s..."*make with the hong kong phooey moves*

i'm met with a totally blank stare and a look of pity for the crack smoker....
i desperately grasp at straws... "secret squirrel? wacky races? dynomutt? atom ant? underdog? precious pup and granny sweet?"

zip. zilch. gornischt. step right up and view the old fart circus freak!

well, i'm not the only one in the house. a few days ago at the potbelly deli, popzilla was listening to a conversation that two young sandwichmakers were having about classic rock. he asks them, "so, what do you consider classic rock?"

SM1 - anything before 1980.
PZ - like boston.
SM1 - who?
PZ - boston. *slowly enunciating the word and sweating a tad*
SM1 - don't know them, never heard of 'em.
PZ - y'know, "more than a feeling, when I hear that old song they used to play (more than a feeling) I begin dreaming (more than a feeling) ’till I see marianne walk away I see my marianne walkin’ away.." *quietly singing and swaying to the music in his head*
SM1 - nope. so what do you want on your italian?

fellow chicagoans, do you realize that the "oldies" station is playing classic 70s music now? and that to get to hear what i consider "oldies" music - I HAVE TO SWTICH TO THE AM BAND STATIONS!!! WTF!? (although, elvis on am sounds awesome and strangely old school.)

i'm convinced it's my own private conspiracy, y'all so, i'm jumping on the random bandwagon. i'm getting my hair dyed back to pink and dropping trou for a new tattoo. i may even get a gold tooth and a facial piercing. maybe a trucker hat and ultra low rise jeans with a miniature toy dog and a bedazzled phone.

i may not be young or even youthful anymore but as long as i have a fully functional frontal lobe, i'm gonna abuse it...



maybe.



ok, no, not really. but i could...