proof that the paloma is the thin mans child

to the matterhorn
Originally uploaded by mamazilla1972.

and not the milkman's child... not that you NEED any proof of that, really...

1) has adopted the "what you don't know, won't hurt you" philosophy:

M - "paloma did you wash your hands?"
p - "yes."
M - "so, if i go over to the sink and look into it. it will be wet right?"
p - *looks left, looks right, blinks, walks back into bathroom, closes door*

*faint trickle of water going down drain*

p - "what were you saying, mommy?"


2) fluent in "attorney speak":

M - "paloma, please sit down in your seat. this is the second time i've asked you."
p - "i am sitting down in my seat."
M - "paloma, your legs should not be hanging over the side of your booster seat."
p - "mommy, you didn't say, 'paloma, sit in your seat P R O P E R L Y please.'"
M - *takes deep breath, counts to ten"
p - "mommy, i think you should sit on the step if you're in time out."


3) taste in music:

p - "mommy, would you watch my show?"
M - "i don't understand, do you want me to turn on the tv?"
p - *rolls eyes* "um, nooooo. i want you to watch me sing a song in MY show?"
M - "oh sure, i'll watch you sing a song. what song are you going to sing?"
p - "you can choose. i can sing, "sweet caroline" or "chiquitita" or "on the street where you live" or "the schpedoinkle song" or "take me to the fair" or..."
M - *blinks* "um, do you want to go outside for a walk?"
p - "no. no. YES! YES! i DO want to go for a walk."


4) physical appearance:

TTM - "i bought pants!"
M - *reviews purchase* "um, you bought pants for the summer?"
TTM - "whadddya mean?"
M - "i mean you're going to freeze your *ss off. those fabrics are WAY too thin for fall or winter."
TTM - "dear, i have so much hair on my legs i wouldn't worry about any of my appendages freezing."
M - "yes, my yeti love."

TTM - "um, is the paloma too young to get her legs waxed?"
M - *walks out*
TTM - "what?"

5) sleeping habits:

M - *bolts upright from a deep sleep because bed is violently shaking, turns to look at TTM"
TTM - *holding stomach and writhing, eyes closed* "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" *mumble mumble* "HAHAHAHAHAHHA!"
M - *turns on table lamp. looks at TTM, still laughing and mumbling, while asleep. turns off light.*

p - *sitting up in bed, eyes closed, sleeping* "no, because i don't want to, mommy."
M - *freaked out. watching the paloma*
p - "i said i don't want to!" *gets out of bed, marches over to a wall* "NO!" *stamps foot, wakes up, clearly afraid* "MOOOOOMMMMMMYYYYYY!!!!"

6) gastronomical peccadillos

p - mommy, i don't like vegetables except carrots, broccoli and lettuce.
M - i think you would like vegetables if you actually tried them.
p - i like plums.
M - really. what does a plum look like?
p - that's a plum.
M - that's not a plum. that's an eggplant. oh wait. you're right! that IS a plum! and since you like them so much. i guess i'll just HAVE to make them for dinner. i think you're daddy will LOVE them too! who doesn't love plums!?
p - YAY!
M - YAY!