mother's day wishes

admittedly, i am usually a big scrooge when it comes to what i consider hallmark holidays - mothers day, valentines day, sweetest day, etc... let's just say, i'm a skeptic... i'm a cynical romantic when it comes to the institutionalized holiday...

even if it's a day that's meant for me, to celebrate motherhood, to thank moms, to dedicate hours of gift making, searching and giving to well loved moms over a tasty sunday brunch, to reunite mothers against war and most importantly, to remind you to plant tomatoes on the following monday and not one minute before (i'm so not making that up)...

anyhoo, fellow mamazillas - i do truly wish you a happy, happy mothers day... thanks for reading, please keep the reality checks, the laughter and the honesty coming... a list of my wishes for you (and i suppose myself, of course) follows (and not in any order of importance necessarily):

* that you get the day off... really and truly off... regardless of where you are physically located in relation to where your children are physically located... and with pay...

* that the diaper bag fairy visits your house and packs the diaper bag so that the above can actually happen...

* that you get to take a shower... or a bath (whoa, nelly!) ... not one of those RUSH jobs mind you... but one of those showers/baths that you used to take pre-children.. the ones when you got to use the expensive shampoo and conditioner that you splurged on at the salon, when you used a facial scrub and a body scrub, when you used a loofah and a pumice stone, when you got to shave with a new blade and a womens shaving cream... and the shower doesn't end there - no. you get to use your lotion (face and body) and again, don't rush in the application... you get to blow dry and style you hair like you used to be able to, you get to give yourself a mini ped - to clean and tidy up for sandal weather... you get to pluck your eyebrows and maybe even put on some makeup and spritz on some perfume...

*that you get to wear an outfit that is trendy, comfortable and flattering and not something you wear everyday out of necessity... put the track suit down, sistah. you know the outfit i'm talking about... it's calling for you, girlfriend....

* that you get to brush and floss your teeth... after every meal... like your dentist said... not just after the nightly weather report and after the kids go to bed. 'cause no one likes getting reprimanded by a dentist and no one likes to clean dentures.

* that mother nature cooperates and gives you a sun dappled and temperate day... honey, enough with the wildfires, the floods, the tornadoes, the cicada plagues...

* that screaming, crying, tantrum throwing not commence until after aforementioned showering and toothbrushing.... unless aforementioned actions are your own.... you go girl. just remember - there's a universal remote to replace the one you throw against a wall....

* that you will deflect any and all bodily fluids/secretions that are not your own... and i mean deflect - like wonderwoman with the bulletproof bracelets... and that outft WILL NOT COME OFF until you take it off at the end of the day... no wandering marinara spaghetti noodles or errant juice boxes allowed!

* that you do not catch another cold or flu... FOREVER... and if you do... that someone is there to help care for you too.

* that you either get to spend quality time with the kids or that you get to spend some quality time with yourself.... or both... and relative to this, that you will not feel any guilt for doing so...

* that you actually get to eat all three square meals at a human pace... not like a hummingbird. or a twentysomething supermodel. (how wrong is it that you eat like a supermodel and have no runway cred?)

* that you will purchase/receive something for you - not for the benefit of decorating the house or for extracurricular activities to do with the children or to put in the tote bag to drop off at the thrift store... read a book with more than seven pages, listen to something else besides dan zanes*, watch a movie that wasn't produced by disney, eat something besides the remnants of your children's meals and drink something other than the last of the apple juice spiked with sprite.... (*disclaimer... i'd totally see dan zanes... by myself...)

* that you get to talk to at least one person today... hopefully, within a few years of your generation or at least within a foot of your height... preferably, in person - not on the phone or online... someone that you've been meaning to talk to... to catch up, to get to know better, to practice words of more that one syllable, sentence syntax, grammar...

* that you do something that you don't normally do... go somewhere you wouldn't usually go... because the stroller wouldn't fit in the aisles, because the kids couldn't be trusted to look with their eyes and not with their hands, because you don't have enough time,etc...

* that you get to take a nap. even though you might not need one... or at least pretend to take one and then use that time to do the NYT crossword....

* that you know, today and everyday, that you are more than adequate, that you may not be the multifaceted superwoman you thought you were going to be and may never be... but that you are the best mother that you can be to your children and that your best is good enough.... and if not, just revise your version - motherhood 1.0, 2.0, 6.0, etc... y'know, i bet the best software developers are moms.

of course, right after i clicked "publish" - i realized three things...

1) in the rare event that my mom (who apparently can never find her inbox nor emails from me) finds out about this blog: thanks mom for making what could have been a very dark life, illuminated and illuminating... mahal kita. i can only hope that i'm as good a stay at home mom as you were a work outside of the home mom....

2) i also want to recognize those friends of mine (who may or may not read this blog) who have experienced the loss of their mother or the loss of a child and those who really did not have relationships with their mothers... i just wanted to say that i'm thinking about you as well today and hoping that it goes by as quickly or slowly as you want it... that it's a day to reminisce about the best and warmest times with moms or children, a day to build and dream about the future...

3) and to thank all the "extra" moms (i have plenty of "extra" dads too) for everything they did for me, when my mom (or me) needed a little help, a little guidance, a free hug... to my zillions of aunties, my mother in law, teachers and mentors. i cannot express my deepest and most heartfelt thanks in words....