no more excuses...

i just found out that an acquaintance of mine just published a book. i'm really happy for gina. but it's just another painful reality check for me.

in the winter of 2002, the first time i met gina frangello, she had brought her beautiful twin girls to model some clothing at a laurenceleste photo shoot. then, it turned out that one of my cousins, whose son was also modeling, knew her too. i think they went to high school together. gina was very friendly and funny and she was already a "been there done that" mom. i think the girls were about 18mos or 2yo. my cousin mentioned to me that gina was a writer and i remember thinking then, how does she find time to write when you're a parent to two toddlers?

well, in addition to finding out that gina had published a book. i found out she's also pregnant.

ergo - i have no excuses left. i know i shouldn't compare myself to others but, i've played the "i'm a mom to a toddler" card and more recently i played the "i'm pregnant" card and now, i'm playing the "i'm a mom to a newborn AND a toddler" card.

i don't know why i'm having such trouble writing or rather picking up where i left off and continuing to write the story that i so desperately want to complete. i think about that damn thing all the time and yet i can't bring myself to even approach my laptop. the other day, i turned it on just to make sure it still worked.

i didn't realize that jessica had written dogeaters while parenting a toddler. she told me that she had to bring her daughter back to the philippines with her when she was completing her final draft and needed to go back to finalize/research some details.

i read an interview with j.k. rowling not too long ago. she said that oftentimes, she would pack her toddler up in a stroller when she fell asleep and would type for as long as she could - sometimes only 15 minutes - and just pray that she would have more time the next day or the next.

sometimes, for me, it's time or lack thereof. alot of the time it's lack of energy/motivation. i find myself shortchanging the book and i guess myself and my skill (?) as a writer. i try to remember how great my time in florida was and how much i respect my fellow writers from the residency. i mean i can't be THAT bad if those writers read and really liked my work right? and well... you're still here... :)

i dunno.

anyway, gina's new book is called, my sister's continent. it's available through amazon. all the reviews that i've read are positive. i'm looking forward to getting and reading a copy. i hope you'll check it out. :)