Thursday, August 20, 2009

"mama filipina"

just an fyi - i have a new post up over at filipina moms blog called "mama filipina"

and i'm just posting this again because... um, i can. :)

my sister and i have been emailing each other a lot lately. email has been such a godsend - although i miss getting actual letters in the mail (on silly sanrio stationary with twin stars or my melody on them), it amazes me how close she feels even though she's half a world away.

she's (and her husband) getting ready for her move to canada and crossing off all "the things to do" on her growing list... it's sad to hear that she is leaving for the same reasons our mother left decades ago - lucrative employment opportunities, "better" living conditions, a "safer" place to raise future children, money to send home, etc... and now, somewhat closer to family...

it's not a move that she's eager to make, but one that she feels is the right thing to do for this time in her life. she's worried about our father who will stay behind in manila as well as our other sister and her family and the extended family. she doesn't mention her friends very much, i think saying goodbye to them will be just as heartbreaking as saying goodbye to blood relatives.

above is the video for "mama filipina" by of the black eyed peas from his upcoming solo album "u can dream". i've been listening to it a lot lately. it's really been inspiring me to finish a book i've been trying to write about my mother and my childhood in chicago as part of an immigrant family.

i should really send a link to my sister. and come to think of it although my mom HATES "modern" music, i really think she'd appreciate the lyrics and nostalgia that revisits in the song and the video.

i may not have been born there. but often, i miss the philippines as if i was. it seems like everytime i go "home", someone else is missing, having left for the states or canada or new zealand, or worse - passed away, etc... what will it be like, one day, when i don't know anyone there anymore and i am truly a tourist just visiting?


Barb said...

I didn't realize you didn't grow up here your nuclear family. You mention you weren't born in the P.I. -- are you the youngest? I'm sorry that it feels your family's fragmented in a way. Great song, though!

mamazilla said...

barb - honestly, it's very fuzzy to me. i'm the third of four children. my ldest sister is my half sister. my father was a widower when he met my mom. after they married, my brother was born in the PI. then, i think they immigrated here. i remember my mom telling me that they went to school in uptown. then i was born here. after i got relatively better, my parents and siblings went back to the philippines. shortly after that my little sister was born. i got sick again and had to come back to chicago to see my surgeons. we only went back to visit once a year after that.

Barb said...

OK. I'm going to have to call you to discuss. ;-)

mamazilla said...

i suggest you call in a few days when i can actually speak w/o a cough interrupting every syllable. :(


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