Wednesday, November 07, 2007

why i could never be a teletubbie....

(teletubbies (or any preschooler show for that matter) the second time around is actually kinda painful for me. i don't know how i put up with this tripe when the paloma was into them a year or two ago... seriously, my hormones were on fire or something back then... that's the only way i can explain it.... i was chemically altered....)

1) if a drum roll preceded everything i did and/or a trumpet toot followed it - i would have to kill someone. specifically, someone playing a drum or a trumpet.

2) i do not respond well to authority figures or narrators. especially when they're disembodied and speak before invited or announced.

3) i could not eat tubby custard or tubby toast. i would rather spear one of those fluffy rabbits and wear it's pelt for a merkin.

4) i like smiling. with teeth. no wonder they eat slurp that custard... are they related to sloths or armadillos or anteaters? are they even considered part of the mammal family?

5) i like that it's obvious i'm a girl, a shy, private, Catholic girl... - i used to think that the whole teletubbie gender ambiguous thing was disturbing. and then their little antennae (?) reminded me of a shelf i'd *ahem* perused *cough* at good vibrations MANY MOONS AGO and realized that maybe the teletubbies weren't all that ambiguous at all... FORNICATORS!

6) i would not want a tv for a tummy and i would not shout "again! again!" after a video was displayed on it. i wonder if they're even digital.... *snort* modification's a b*tch.

7) i like being warm especially when sleeping in a bed. those silver lame (lah-MAY) blankets are sooooo 80s fortress of solitude for me. no christopher reeve? no contest.

ok, end senseless rant of drinky winky, tipsy, taa taas, and hoe....


ImPerceptible said...

catholic girl, vibration, fornicators, and teletubbies all in one post. I am in awe. Complete and total awe. :)

mamazilla said...

you're in awe of ME?

did you hit your head?


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