Wednesday, November 07, 2007

why i could never be a teletubbie....



(teletubbies (or any preschooler show for that matter) the second time around is actually kinda painful for me. i don't know how i put up with this tripe when the paloma was into them a year or two ago... seriously, my hormones were on fire or something back then... that's the only way i can explain it.... i was chemically altered....)

1) if a drum roll preceded everything i did and/or a trumpet toot followed it - i would have to kill someone. specifically, someone playing a drum or a trumpet.

2) i do not respond well to authority figures or narrators. especially when they're disembodied and speak before invited or announced.

3) i could not eat tubby custard or tubby toast. i would rather spear one of those fluffy rabbits and wear it's pelt for a merkin.

4) i like smiling. with teeth. no wonder they eat slurp that custard... are they related to sloths or armadillos or anteaters? are they even considered part of the mammal family?

5) i like that it's obvious i'm a girl, a shy, private, Catholic girl... - i used to think that the whole teletubbie gender ambiguous thing was disturbing. and then their little antennae (?) reminded me of a shelf i'd *ahem* perused *cough* at good vibrations MANY MOONS AGO and realized that maybe the teletubbies weren't all that ambiguous at all... FORNICATORS!

6) i would not want a tv for a tummy and i would not shout "again! again!" after a video was displayed on it. i wonder if they're even digital.... *snort* modification's a b*tch.

7) i like being warm especially when sleeping in a bed. those silver lame (lah-MAY) blankets are sooooo 80s fortress of solitude for me. no christopher reeve? no contest.

ok, end senseless rant of drinky winky, tipsy, taa taas, and hoe....

2 comments:

ImPerceptible said...

catholic girl, vibration, fornicators, and teletubbies all in one post. I am in awe. Complete and total awe. :)

mamazilla said...

you're in awe of ME?

did you hit your head?

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