i'm doomed. DOOMED, i tell you.
the paloma woke me up at 3:20 am because she had to go potty and i haven't been able to go back to sleep yet... i'm starving. i'm sneezing. it's
so, i figure i'll review a film because... well, because the only alternatives i have are A) to rot my feeble mind with infomercials B) reveal what a loser i am by pimping my myspace page at this hour C) actually listen to what the inebriated bimbo is
anyhoo... let's get on with it shall we? (this may actually turn into a regular post from me (now that i can actually watch movies again). i'll make it/them short, i promise.
WHAT'S IT ABOUT?
boy (matt dillon) marries girl (kate hudson). girl's father/boy's boss (michael douglas) enjoys humiliating boy. boy's best man/friend (owen wilson) moves in with boy and girl. nudity, bathroom jokes, mormon librarian lust, post coital house fire, masturbation, mixed messages and attempted murder ensue!
* kate hudsons body - the return to pre-pregnancy. THAT'S what I'M talking about.
* michael douglas - it's like Jack T. Colton all over again... sorta. thank you CZJ! kinda crushin'! :)
* toshi, paco, random monied investors and the entire hawaii unit cast - WOO-HOO! ASIAN CANDY!
* taxidermied moosehead
* seth rogen - freaksandgeekslove!
* matt dillon's dialogue - give the man SOMETHING, ANYTHING to work with, people...
* hello?! no mandy reveal!?
* you know the continuity was bad, if i caught stuff... pre-football party scene: check matt dillion's hand - bottle of alcohol, glass of alcohol, bottle of alcohol.
* asian fetish porn sighting
* owen wilson's character - don't get me wrong. i dig all that is owen wilson. but have i not met *insert owen wilson character* in *insert owen wilson film* already?
* the ending
* the alternate ending
MZ RATING - 72 mins o' bliss out of a possible 108 mins