glum.

i've been feeling very glum as of late - glum, as in, character in "the adventures of gulliver" tv show c. 1968 (RIP joseph barbera). hmmm, maybe i need to get "the banana splits" on dvd.

i feel like i'm constantly saying "it'll never work. we're DOOMED!"

and i hab a code. and i tink i'b hab dis sae code sins befo tanksgibing...

i talked to a friend of mine about the longevity of this cold and the possibility of it affecting my outlook on the holidays - cold medicine side effects, sleep deprivation, kids getting sick, etc.... i'll admit that i'm the uber-cynical pessimist in the family but, usually this time of year will buoy me up a bit. but for some reason, i can't crack even the fakest "lovely weather we're having" smile.

i know that part of my melacholic miasma is due to being profoundly affected by the loss of james kim (no, i didn't know him personally), a blow out screaming match with my stepbrother (for trespasses against my brother and BIL) and that hulking evidence of racism and racists that's housed pretty much everywhere i visit on the blogosphere (rosie, chicago politics).

i'm leaving for palm springs in a few days and i'm so worried that' i'll be so mired in the grey that i won't enjoy myself at all. most of our shopping is completed. the christmas cards are safely on their way. trip packing will commence soon...

i just don't know what's wrong with me lately... :(