Wednesday, March 23, 2005

just an FYI - i HATE writing thank you notes.

i'd rather be getting a plaster cast done of my teeth than write these thank you notes.

i could probably be persuaded into getting a really painful and unsightly piercing in exchange for not having to write thank you notes.

i would trade the task of writing these thank you notes for cold stirrups & a pelvic exam.

what's pathetic is they're not even "from" me, they're "from" my two year old to the attendees of her 2nd birthday party...

just another glaring example of how life is different in the ghetto. we didn't do thank you notes or party favors in the ghetto. i remember on my 11th birthday, all the booze in our bar was depleted by the 6th grade party people. the party was over in an hour. parents were calling our house for days....

i just want to write:

THANK YOU!

on the inside of the card... centered and within balanced compostion of the size of the card and be done with it.

but, no... that would be impolite. i blame martha. i hate martha.

y'know, i have a friend who has a friend who went on a blind date with martha. he was unimpressed from the get go but went to dinner with her anyway. throughout dinner, she had a fair number of drinks. on the stretch limo ride home, martha got a little frisky and tried to shove her tongue down his throat.

if an upper-crusty, middle aged, east coast woman gets her freak on in the back of a limo with some random dude (years before her prosecution and incarceration, i might add) - WHY do I have to write freakin' thank you notes!?

i hate thank you notes. and then i have to go buy umpteen zillion stamps.... i hate stamps....



3 comments:

Unknown said...

i am the prime minister of tacky!

i like tacky... i'm all for tacky. i say embrace the tackiness within...

tacky. it's a good thing. :)

flahute said...

Why are you blaming my mother because you hate writing thank you cards? I hate writing thank you cards as well, and can legitimately blame martha.

Unknown said...

ms bees knees - ooo! the smartypants gene runs in the family! :)

velokatz - you know very well which martha i'm speaking of... i do however blame your martha for a myriad of other things - namely your propensity towards naughty behaviors....

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