Thursday, March 24, 2005

caterpillar - cocoon - butterfly

i'm not going to pass any judgments about terri schiavo's situation and the separate factions fighting for her life/death . i honestly don't know much about the history of her story which is more important to me than what is happening now.

my impression is that she made a mistake. i believe her husband when he says that terri didn't want any heroic measures. i hear so many of my friends say the same thing. i may be catholic, but i think it's one's decision to do with one's life what he/she wants. i don't think anyone knows what their "god" truly intends for them. i think you just go with what you know...

but, the bottom line is she didn't get her wishes recorded legally. unfortunately, 15 years later, she's still paying for that "mistake".

i was surprised to hear on this morning's news report that according to health professionals, terri's not suffering. how can anyone really know for sure (especially in terri's case)? and who can really define what suffering is?

as a mother, i don't blame terri's parents for fighting so desperately for the life of their child. i can't imagine facing a decision like that with kidzilla. i'd sacrifice my own life in the blink of an eye, maybe even someone elses, if it meant i could save her from a long and painful death.

but, it's been a long time coming... it's that time - terri's on her way to somewhere else. it's time to stop fighting each other by using terri as a platform and a weapon, store away the glaring spotlight and let her family regroup in peace to comfort her and say their goodbyes. who knows maybe she'll surprise us all? doubtful, but i'm a believer in the miraculous...

to be honest, from the outside looking in, terri's become everybody's property and the poster child for pro & con euthanasia groups. she ceased being a living, breathing person due to the media circus not her condition. she's been reduced to a video loop, a sound bite or a photo op. it's humbling how this world can foster and shelter such beautiful and repulsive beings and really you can't tell one from the other at first sight...

to me, it's ironic and fitting in a way that this is all happening during the christian holy week - the week that always overpowers me to tears. it's like a big ol' magnifying glass set clearly upon me and my achievements, crimes and daily petty misdemeanors for my yearly reality check. but, it always inspires me & reminds me of the awe-inspiring and formidable potential buried in each and every individual person.

i always try to see the presence of divinity in all people. admittedly, it's hard to see the divinity with some (school bullies, the wabash ave. meter maid, extremeist terrorists) but i can see it pretty easily with terri - maybe her life and dying are meant to serve as a message or to teach the rest of us a harsh lesson. personally, i think the message is "live and love abundantly and generously so that whatever day is your last day - you and your loved ones know everything that had to be said was said and everything that had to be done was done."

...and on that note, i must rescue a howling kidzilla from her toddler bed, scam a sweaty hug and take a deep breath of fresh spring air outside...

peace be with you, terri and to all of you out there, too.

1 comment:

Ms Bees Knees said...

Beautifully said. You took the words right out of my mouth. Dying is such a personal thing and all of those protesters should be focusing on their own fucked up lives instead of ruining others.

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