Monday, November 01, 2004

to shower or to blog? that is the question.

...i can't believe i'm sitting here typing.

a severed hand - realistic, no? Posted by Hello

my little pets here turned out to be the hit of the front porch yesterday. so glad the postman doesn't deliver on sundays. he would've had my head on a plate - he's a very surly & unpredictable man, the neighborhood postal worker...

well, my display of 288 spiders really didn't look all that impressive. you'd think that 288 spiders would prove to be a daunting obstacle course (yeah, they're fake. but their shiny, black, eight legged, heebie jeebie creepie crawlie-ness is evident nonetheless).

the littlest kids were only slightly freaked out (due to the ratio of LARGE dad to tiny spider). it seemed they were more disturbed by the bloody severed hand (mwahahahahahaha!) than the spiders. so, i'll have to saunter off into the halloween sunset and retool my plague scenario for next year.

the wierd thing is that in the light of this morning it looks as if i have fewer than 288 spiders. which could mean many (ok, 3.) things:

1) kids have absconded with my spiders
2) birds and squirrels have absconded with my spiders
3) the spiders are actually real and were shipped to me in a state of suspended animation. during the night, they woke up and are eagerly awaiting my bidding (they owe me since i cut off their rings - the shackle of indentured servitude to some high school goth wannabe) somewhere in the deep dark recesses of the house.

please Lord, let my plastic ringless minions be hungry and make them eat all the freakin' infidel ants!

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