Friday, June 01, 2007

you know you need a date with your husband when... both are (self) diagnosed with "babysitteri apatheticus".

the thin man and i are getting better and better at pursuing our personal interests and activites outside of the home, parenting and our marriage... soon, he'll be returning to playing volleyball once a week, possibly more. he's also been to a handful of chicago sporting events. he's hoping to golf a little more too. i have been able to attend concerts, speaking engagements, girls nights out and knitting workshops and later this summer, i'll be taking a ceramics class once a week.

however, years ago, when we first met and throughout most of our dating life, the thin man and i would dance at least five nights a week. we met in the fall of 1997 at a lindy hop level 1 dance class at the metronome dance studio in san francisco. among the many things we found we had in common, we also shared a love of lindy hop and music. and since then we've been together, our pendulum in constant swing (no pun intended) between war, restoration and peace.

we used to be able to explain to others and to ourselves that we couldn't go out dancing or to a movie or to pursue any of the interests that ultimately made us the multifaceted people we loved being and fell in love with because the paloma or the pork chop were too young to leave with babysitters.... we used to be able to explain that we couldn't find a babysitter. now, the reality is neither the thin man nor myself is really ready to leave them with sitters, which in this neighborhood are in abundance.

we say we are ready. we are intellectually ready. but, we TOO easily talk ourselves out of calling the neighbors' teenaged daughters or even family members whom we all trust implicitly. it's not logical. we know our neighbors' daughters well enough and they all possess great references. most of our family members have children of their own, the same ages as ours. but, the fear that something unforeseeable might happen, that we might be out too late, that we might not give the sitter enough notice, etc... it's just easier for us to pawn babysitting duty to one another. the sitter is reliable, trustworthy, free, can make dinner, is loved by the kids, doesn't need a ride home, etc... see? babysitteri apatheticus.

we're still talking and talking about taking a weekend trip to new york city. just the two of us. the impetus was one FREE plane ticket that the thin man received during a promotion for an airline. i think he got it a year ago and we're still talking about it. so, maybe we need to take baby steps. maybe winning a $100 amex gift card and $100 cash for a babysitter is just the kick in the pants that we need. 'cause i'm so happy that we're slowly getting to do the things that nuture us as people. but, i really miss doing all the other things that help us cultivate and nurture our relationship as a couple.

This post is part of a Blog Blast sponsored by E-Harmony Marriage, a new online alternative to marriage counseling and Parent Bloggers Network. If you'd like a chance to win a $100 Amex Gift Card for a date out with your spouse/partner plus $100 cash for a babysitter, Click here for more info!


eatmisery said...

Go on a date ASAP. Trust me. My husband and I hadn't gone out to dinner alone for 22 months because we had babies back-to-back. Last Saturday was the first time in almost two years! And we're so much happier because of it.

Irene said...

Have fun on your date! David and I tried doing the date thing after the kids were born, but we found that all we talked about was how much we missed the kiddies. We're a sad, sad couple.

mamazilla said...

eat misery - yes, ma'am! we're trying! too bad i didn't win that contest though. :(

irene - i hear ya. the few times we've gone on dates, we've had to consciously stop ourselves from eating so fast out of habit. we kept trying to do the one date a week thing and just couldn't keep it going... we just gotta keep truckin'...

a happier girl said...

The last time my husband and I left the house alone together we couldn't really think of anything to do. We spent a lot of time driving around and just talking. Although, come to think of it, that was still nice so maybe you guys should try going out alone occasionally.


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