pic stolen w/o permision from http://eric.b.olsen.tripod.com - MEA CULPA!!!

GUESS WHAT!!!
I DECIDED THAT I AM OFFICIALLY
"MOMMY OF THE UNIVERSE, FOREVER"!!!
YA WANNA KNOW WHY!?

(today, no child has been harmed, maimed, disfigured, decapitated or killed in any way, shape or form... even though both children have given me more than enough reasons to do so and even if i had harmed a hair on their chinny chin chins i'd be found not guilty by reason of insanity! )

BECAUSE I'M THE MOMMY!!!
AND I SAID SO!!!
AND THAT'S WHY!!!

...it's a wonder - no, a f*cking miracle, that i don't self medicate.

UPDATE: after a meal and dancing around the kitchen to neil diamond with the kids.... life regains its rosy hue.

...with one hand...

...wrapped around my baby (who may or may not be asleep), i can:

post a new blog
help my 3 yo potty train (undie down, empty bowl, replace bowl, undie up, wash hands, etc... )
brush my teeth
use "the facilities"
wash my hands
undo and redo a drawstring (that holds up my pants)
change a diaper
make a phonecall
fix a bowl of cereal
open jars
make a PB & J sandwich
put a dvd on
laundry
color with crayons or paint (w/brush, watercolors &/or tempera)
open doors
open storm windows
swiffer a floor
feed the cats

the newest thing i discovered i can do... i can change from jeans & a t-shirt to pajamas, while laying in bed, nursing the baby and detatching once... so NOT kidding. :)

and the freakiest thing... i can gather the items needed to sterilize a needle, sterilize a needle and use the needle to unplug a plugged milk duct.

seriously.

i know, TMI!!!!