blue light special

(photo from astrogalaxy )

so, every once in a while, i check to see what's haunting the cyberhalls of eBay.

don't get me wrong supernatural stuff totally FREAKS me out. i'm such a chicken sh*t when it comes to the paranormal. never seen a ghost and don't wanna. EVER. no mysterious lights or orbs or mists....

some of the aca associates actually went to cassadaga, fl to hang with psychics in their spiritualist community. some of them even got readings and reported that they had good futures in store. as far as the future goes, i would like to know the gender of our new baby, but really that's all i want to know.

so, just in case you want to own a haunting or maybe you want to help someone who is currently being haunted (out of the goodness of your own heart) - Ebay (of course) has ghosts and hauntings aplenty...

(just wondering, is it really a surprise to anyone that a high percentage of those freaky porcelain dolls are haunted? hello!? FREAKY PORCELAIN DOLLS!!!!???)

haunted rabbit shaped pizza

haunted wooden salad bowl

haunted cast iron fritter tray

haunted guitar and song of death

haunted baby monitor

haunted full size flat sheet


oooo! i would however totally bid on this cat or this puppy and happily give them homes!
(hat tip to abroad at home for the cat story.)

Happy Fathers Day!

it just occurred to me that father's day may in fact be a "hallmark holiday", unlike christmas and ramadan, i'm not sure that the philippines actually recognizes father's day as one of its holidays... hmmm... well, i live here and i have a father. so there. happy father's day, papa!

yes, i call my father, papa. i was taught very early on that that was the only (other) appropriate title to address him. "never call me, 'dad'" he said, matter of factly, to his three year old daughter.

this is my favorite picture of me and papa. it's one of a handful that i have. it's true that most of my life was spent with my mother in the states, but i remember how often he did come to visit and that a lot of the time he was behind the camera. i was thinking maybe it's actually because of my father that i spend so much time behind the camera instead of in front it rather than the obvious reason. something to ponder i suppose...

i think the other reason i don't have as many pictures is because one summer when my mother was feeling particularly empowered and pissed off, she actually threw whole photo albums into the trash - their wedding album and the early albums when the family was still fresh and together. she also managed to throw out most of my stuff that i had left in the basement for storage. jeebus, she was PISSED. anyway, a friend of mine from the old hood called to let me know that he saw one of my easels and an old portfolio leaning next to the trash cans. so, i ran over there. the easel was gone and i found the large mound of my life's memories had been picked thru by a dumpster diver or two. but, i managed to come away with the wedding album and some of the pictures including the one above.

the picture was snapped on one of my early trips to the philippines. on the back of the picture my father wrote, "taken during her departure, january 11, 1977." i'm pretty sure this was one of those years where my father would coax me into saying stuff like "mommy, i love the philippines and i want to stay." into a long distance phone call to her, his desperate attempt to guilt trip my mother into returning to the islands. didn't work, obviously....

but, despite all that weirdness between my parents. i managed to eek out memories with each of them. to my father, i owe my lifelong appreciation of simplicity, practicality and efficiency.

because of my father, i can gracefully cast a fishing line off the perimeters of a pond and i will always feed popcorn to the fish at starved rock state park. i can make a pretty good avocado shakes and i know how to pick & cut a mango. he bought me my first ube ice cream at the magnolia ice cream parlor in manila. he taught me how to ride a horse in baguio city and rode under the waterfalls with me at pagsanjan falls. at the beach, he didn't teach me how to swim, but he swam me out to a big rock in the middle of the sea and we watched the sun set while enormous dragonflies buzzed into and out of our field of vision.

i will always think of my father playing guitar and humming when he thought no one was watching. i have his eyes and lips and height and everytime i look down to pause my typing, i see i have his hands. in fact, i can owe writing to my father as well who is a thoughtful and beautiful writer of correspondence.

so, happy father's day, papa. i can't wait to introduce you to your granddaughter and eventually, to your newest grandchild in december.

p.s. of course, this is also a happy father's day greeting to all my friends and family members who are fathers or father figures. i hope you get as good as you give!

to popzilla, the love of my life and the apple of kidzilla's eye. to my uncle doug, who healed bee stings, made the best diaramas and sang like elvis. to my uncle caesar, who drove with his knees. to louis, who got me through high school. to dennis, who got me through art school and that first (devastating) love.

ooo! a potential jessica sighting for you SFers!

just saw this on technorati.com (while searching aimlessly for folks)

Saturday, June 18, 2005 - 12-5pm FREE Join us for a day long block party celebration of Intersection's 40th Anniversary on Valencia Street featuring live music and performance, food, drink and activities for all ages. Join us as we honor the thousands of people in our community who have touched Intersection in the past four decades. This day features dozens of artists from over the years through today, including Jessica Hagedorn, Ntozake Shange, ESP Project, Jimmy Santiago Baca, Marcus Shelby Trio, Robert Moses, Felonious, Peter Plate, Howard Wiley, devorah major, Youth Speaks, Keith Hennessy, Leslie Scalapino, Latin Youth Jazz Ensemble, Denis Johnson, Fresh Meat, Arundo, Kitchen Sink, Bantercut Strategy, WritersCorps, Suspect Thoughts, Ellen Sebastian Chang, Beth Lisick and many many more.

http://www.theintersection.org/calendar/program_jazz.php

this time last year....

i was filling and taping up moving boxes and getting ready for our big move from our cool, hip, urban loft to our not so hip, but beautiful home. i was doing this with a 16mo toddler and a busy body cat - both insisted on getting in the boxes marked fragile. :)

today, i was packing and taping up all the christmas decorations (they were put away in the basement, just not packed up & taped shut). the toddler is now 2y 3mo old and napping away. the cat is still trying to get in the box and eat the infidel tinsel. and i'm 14 weeks pregnant.

i can finally tell everybody. :) no, we don't know the gender but, we would like a boy - a healthy baby overall. kidzilla seems relatively aware of impending babyhood since she will say things like "i'm the big sister" or she will point to the smallish swell of my belly and say "baby". we went to my midwife visit and when she heard the heartbeat kidzilla looked up to me, puzzled and said "mommy? choo choo?"

so, as you can imagine the residency was difficult because i was having fatigue and morning sickness issues, but they seem to be falling away... slowly but surely... see, leave it to me to come up with some lame *ss excuse... ;)

i realize now that i'm suffering withdrawals from aca. it's been tough. i'm absolutely feening (sp?) i miss everyone, the camraderie, the workshops and even the solitude and the lizards very much. i finally received some emails from other associates and thankfully, it seems we're suffering from the same malady.

i'm slowly getting back into my routine here. the first week was odd. kidzilla had picked up some new habits, which may turn out to be temporary glitches in toddler programming. some things in the house were moved too. so, i was trying to find/re-appropriate them from hiding places, etc... i didn't write at all in the past week, much to my embarassment. i just needed a break. now, i'm ready to start again. i really have to get my studio back in order. i went thru it like a mad woman before i left for florida.

anyway, i wanted to post a reading list that jessica gave to us. also, at the time, she was reading "the royal family" by robert volmann (?) - which i kept stealing glances at, it looks SO good...

so, just in case you were looking for something to read:

Fiction:
selected fictions - jorge luis borges
one hundred years of solitude - gabriel garcia marquez
the autumn of the patriarch - gabriel garcia marquez
disgrace - j.m. coetzee
continental drift - russell banks
rule of the bone - russell banks
the power and the glory - graham greene
bear and his daughter - robert stone
a flag for sunrise - robert stone
dog soldiers - robert stone
interpreter of the maladies - jhumpa lahiri
charlie chan is dead 2 - an anthology of contemporary asian american fiction - jessica hagedorn
the anchor book of new american short stories - ben marcus
yellow - don lee
coming into slaughter - michael ondaatje
the collected works of billy the kid - michael ondaatje
jesus' son - denis johnson
look at me - jenniger egan
drown - junot diaz
kiss of the spiderwoman - manuel puig
folly - sabina murray
aunt julia and the scriptwriter - mario vargas llosa
beloved - toni morrison
yellowback radio broke down - ishmael reed
the mmor's last sigh - salman rushdie
the blind assasin - margaret atwood
three trapped tigers - guillermo cabrera infante
the bridegroom and other stories - ha jin
fake house - linh dinh

Nonfiction:
the gate - francois bizot
we wish to inform you that tomorrow we will be killed with our families - philip gourevitch
running in the family - michael ondaatje
news of a kidnapping - gabriel garcia marquez
seek - denis johnson
the heart that bleeds - anna guillermo prieto

ok, i'm starving. i have to go eat a chair leg or something...

btw - i just looked at david rakowski's website again (because he's one funny dude) and he actually posted a journal entry about the residency. there's pictures at the very end (in the fourth pic from the bottom i was sitting right across from ines (token beautiful argentinian blonde) and felipe (token hunky brazilian). guess i'm not signifigant enough to be pictured, eh, davy? ) click here.

i'm baaaaack!

i'm still recovering from new smyrna beach - physically, intellectually, emotionally, financially...

a) i look like someone with a severe case of chicken pox due to another losing battle with mosquitoes.

b) my brain is so full, it's difficult for me to type without self-flaggellating for not writing more in my first draft... and heaven forbid i even attempt to read something that isn't on my list of things to read that i compiled during my residency... catholic guilt has actually transferred & reached an all time high...

c) i'm so glad i'm home and yet, i eagerly want to prank call my fellow residents or order them pizzas they would never eat.

d) i pray that my credit card bill gets lost in the mail... pray with me...

i did actually write a final journal entry but, it's on my laptop, when i can, i'll post that one too. suffice to say, a first draft was NOT completed as hoped. but, i gained SO much more. thanks to everyone who thought good positive writerly thoughts for me - they came thru loud and clear.