Friday, July 29, 2011

friday dance - high kick pow!


so, following in the "i'm not supposed to like this" path...

dancer/choreographer kyle hanagami tweeted about jonte's (HUGE in japan, unknown to me) song High Kick Pow. so of course, i checked out the video (watch the language):



next up, i heard robyn's song konichiwa bitches:



after seeing hok and moon perform this choreo:



they're catchy tunes... i checked a couple of other jonte and robyn videos and i don't think these songs/singers make any horrifying orientalist gaffs like nicki minaj or gwen stefani but they did make me pause for a minute to think about it...

in the MVs, all references to asian culture are so *not* serious... save for the "don't get me mad, cuz imma hurt you LIKE AN ASIAN PERSON" theme in both songs... and again, jonte is HUGE in japan - and i dunno... maybe his fan base is ok w/ that stereotype... but still the videos beg the question, what's the point of referencing asian culture at all - in language, costume and/or stage dressing? is it or isn't it relevant/necessary to get the artist's statement across?

ennyhoo... i'm taking the blue pill and dancing now... and you should join me. happy friday!

http://www.smileycodes.info

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

project restyle - bunnies on the move...

another finished project for project restyle?? crazy, i know... :)



the backstory: two (lindy hop dancing) friends are leaving chicago. *SOB* *sniffles*

so, i felt like i should make something instead of incessantly boo hooing... and i make cute bunnies: see here and here and my very close friends call me bunny and one of my fave children's books is little bunny on the move - about a bunny, on the move, determined to find/go home. :')

ennyhoo... every once in a while i see 80s kid's bedding at the thrift store... i was hoping to find some rainbow brite print - cuz that woulda been HILARIOUS... this was the closest i got - a kid's pj top:



which was a super soft rainbow and stars print knit... :) and i had this other fabric scrap at home - and the blues/lavenders actually matched... win!



and... here are the finished bunnies (click to enlarge) - the clouds/rainbow bunny will be travelling to singapore and the yellow kitten print bunny will be journeying to nyc. :'(








i gave the bunnies & said goodbye to my friends on monday. and although i know they're moving on to new and exciting chapters in their lives - i felt really empty afterward. :( but seeing and writing about the bunnies again kinda makes me feel better today... clearly, i made them for me and not just my dear friends...

thanks for coming by and reading... hope you had a lovely wednesday!!

http://www.smileycodes.info

Thursday, July 21, 2011

paloma's summer reading @chipublib


paloma finished reading her 10th chapter book for the chicago public library summer reading program, "book beats"! i'm SO proud! i can't believe this is her fourth year participating in the program. she reads voraciously throughout the year. i can't keep up with what she reads... kinda makes me nervous... but what i like about the summer reading program is that she actually has to give an oral book report/review on each book she's read. she's really very good at it too.

she started in 2007 back at the beverly branch... we read 25 picture books together. :) in 2009, she participated in the program by herself - reading 10 chapter books. :)

i spent most of my elementary school days in the chicago public libraries. it feels very rewarding that not only is she an avid reader, she spends a fair amount of time at some of the same branches i spent hours in as a child/teen.

this year is also porkchop's first year in the program. we have nine books left, until he's reached his 25! his book reports are also impressive - he remembers such minute details... :)

ennyhoo... here's her list of books if you're curious (i linked to some reviews i found)... :)

1) ninjas, pirahnas & galileo by greg leitch smith

2) odysseus in the serpent maze by jane yolen

3) shredderman 1 : secret identity by wendelin van draanen

4) shredderman 2: attack of the tagger by wendelin van draanen

5) sugar plum ballerinas #3: perfectly prima by whoopi goldberg

6) the sea dog by jenny dale

7) chocolate fever by r.k. smith

8) the unseen by z.k. snyder

9) wizard at work by v. velde

10) the higher power of lucky by susan patron

thanks for coming by and reading!

oh yeah, what are you reading right now? i just picked up the girl with glass feet by ali shaw today at the library. and i'm finishing up city of fallen angels by cassandra clare.

happy thursday!!

Tuzki Bunny Emoticon

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

project restyle - work that skirt

zomg... it's been so long since i posted about sewing... i've been doing a lot of alterations for friends, no planned projects as of late... but i eeked out a new one for project restyle!



we moved to a new apartment and my sewing room is now in the basement. and although, it's a lovely room, it's in the basement... outta sight, outta mind...

however, here in chicago, it's summer and i realized i didn't have much in the way of summer wear... and my pocketbook has been feeling a little thin as well... i ended up cutting up some XL tees into sleeveless tops to wear to my hip hop class... and then, after perusing generation T - i got the idea in my head to copy a dance skirt i have w/ tees for hot nights at swing at fizz.

i wasn't sure what i was looking for, but i realized that alot of the colors of the tees weren't going to match.... and then i came across these two tie dye shirts... although i was looking for XLs - one was a S and the other was a M. they we're $1.80 ea. i measured them and it turned out that they would fit my hips just fine:



the fronts had a hideous sports club screen print on it, but i figure that that portion could be hidden when i made that section into the waistband (turned inside out)....



i also bought a new south pole tee for $4 to go with the skirt...

or i suppose i could use it as a beach cover:



i don't have a tutorial for you, but it's pretty straightforward...

* i measured up about 11" from the bottom of each tee - that made up the gathered portion of the skirt.

* the hip portion was 10" or 11" as well (top to bottom) - the backs of both tees sewn together.

* i used a 1" wide elastic, so the waistband was about 3" wide - the fronts of both tees sewn together - inside out, so the print was inside the waistband.

ennyhoo... thanks for reading! hope you're enjoying a lovely wednesday - and much much cooler than here in chicago...

Tuzki Bunny Emoticon

Friday, July 15, 2011

friday dance - summertime nostalgia ed.


paloma asked me the other day "what is my favorite summer memory?"

and i told her:

"eating paletas on my front steps, watching a dad on the block pry open the fire hydrant with a big ol' red wrench, then everyone screaming and playing in the water sprays and listening to the music from the boom boxes... " GOOD TIMES :)

you can take the girl out of logan square, but you can't take logan square out of the girl...







happy friday!!!!
Tuzki Bunny Emoticon

Friday, July 08, 2011

friday dance - karate kid 2010 ed.


ok.... i know, i know, it's kinda wrong to like this movie... but i kinda did... :)



jaden smith - it's hard not to like him!! :) and it's his birthday today... HAPPY BIRTHDAY LITTLE DUDE!!! :)

sooooo aside from all the obvious hollywood stuff i liked about the movie - cinematography, fight choreography, story, characters, dialogue, etc... i REALLY liked the soundtrack.... however, when i went looking for a soundtrack - turns out - an official soundtrack (not the original compositions) was never released... luckily, this amazeballs blogger cobbled up a list for me... us.... :)

so, my fave tracks from the film...

jay sean - do you remember



gorillaz - dirty harry (schtung chinese new year remix)



and i distinctly remember rain's hip song played in the film, but i don't remember where...



happy friday!!

Tuzki Bunny Emoticon

Friday, July 01, 2011

friday dance - debbie downer edition



a couple of weeks ago barcelona hosted the european swing dance championships. this couple won first place in the lindy hop classic division:



when i saw this i couldn't believe what i was seeing... immediately, i felt uncomfortable and awkward and honestly, i haven't been able to watch the entire thing thru... it's meant as an "homage" to the original dance performed by whitey's lindy hoppers in the marx brothers movie "a day at the races":



what little i know (still learning) of the intersections of race and sociology and culture... the beginning of the performance just drips of cultural appropriation and minstrelsy to me... all it was missing was blackface...

please note - i don't know the dancers personally, and i'm not calling them racists. all i'm saying is this performance has racial undertones that make me feel VERY uncomfortable and angry and embarrassed...

BUT IT WON! THEY. WON. FIRST. PLACE. (i can't even wrap my head around that...)

a couple of years ago, lisa wade (PhD and lindy hopper) wrote a short and simple post (dedicated to frankie) about race and lindyhop and one of my fave blogs, racialicious re-posted it. she writes:

"...contemporary dancers look to old movie clips of famous black dancers as inspiration. And this is where things get interesting: The old clips feature profoundly talented black dancers, but the context in which they are dancing is important. Professional black musicians, choreographers, and dancers had to make the same concessions that other black entertainers at the time made. That is, they were required to capitulate to white producers and directors who presented black people to white audiences. These movies portrayed black people in ways that white people were comfortable with: blacks were musical, entertaining, athletic (even animalistic), outrageous (even wild), not-so-smart, happy-go-lucky, etc.

So what we see in the old clips that contemporary lindy hoppers idolize is not a pure manifestation of lindy hop, but a manifestation of the dance infused by racism.....

Typically they (black dancers) would have no relationship to the plot; they would occur out of nowhere and then disappear. This was so that the movie studios could edit out the scene when the movie was going to be shown to those white audiences that were hostile to seeing any positive representation of black people at all."

re: this performance as an homage. again, i refer to racialicous and this post about cultural appropriation and how one person's homage is another person's insult. tami writes:

"...There is a long history of of white musicians being inspired by black music and finding fame with an “exotic” but safer sound, while their black muses languished in obscurity. Without diminishing the impact of artists like Elvis and The Rolling Stones on the popular music scene, surely it is clear that they benefited from a culture that would never allow a bluesman like Robert Johnson to gain mainstream prominence. The fresh sounds that electrified rock audiences weren’t really so fresh, just appropriated from an artist and culture made invisible by racism..."

and from this recent post on cultural appropriation from clutch magazine:

"It’s ironic how the White girl mimicking Black culture has been viewed as quirky, cute, and interesting in the past. But sisters who fashionably rock bamboo earrings, gold nameplate necklaces, and blonde streaked weaves, will inevitably be considered “ghetto” by society."

again - two white dancers performing a routine originated by black dancers WON FIRST PLACE IN AN INTERNATIONAL COMPETITION... at first glance - i guess it's cute and charming - but in the context of WHY the original dancers wore the outfits in the first place, why and how the singers sang their songs... not so cute. not so charming... *heavy sigh* *smh*

y'know, this performance showed up at a bad time for me anyway... just bad timing all around for dance performances really... two of my fave dance crews had their routines stolen - first, les twins and then, poreotics... then... THEN this ABSOLUTE CLUSTERF*CK of immense geisha fail turned up on my TV while the paloma was watching:



F*CK YEAH! way to EMBRACE ASIAN CULTURE by throwing up that TIRED, sexy, silent geisha trope in my face, SYTYCD! i especially LOVE the stupid f*cking head bobbing at the end!! next time, don't forget the backup male dancers with the buck teeth and the cone hats... why couldn't you just stop at accepting stolen routines... GAH! i can't watch that show anymore... :(

anyway, getting back to the WINNING performance above... i don't feel that the performance deserves the award it received or the accompanying accolades... lindy hoppers (including me) - especially teachers and pro competitors - have a unique responsiblity to learn everything about the dance - including its dark and racist history. teachers should at the very least KNOW, if not TEACH, this history, in addition to teaching steps, connection, musicality, etc... no, i'm not expecting them to haul out whiteboards, powerpoints and syllabi... but i do expect them to encourage and challenge creativity, continue their own education, develop the growth of the dance, and unify an often isolated/isolating community....

Friday, June 24, 2011

friday dance - time is (l)over


zomg... i can't believe it's almost july... (!!) 2011 is half over... almost... and i'm a little anxious that i don't have much to show for it... :(

i often think of dylan thomas' poem "fern hill". i read it back in elementary school and even, then as a child, the following lines resonated with me:

"Oh as I was young and easy in the mercy of his means,
Time held me green and dying
Though I sang in my chains like the sea"

so many times this week, i've been reminded of events that happened just a year ago, and my perspective of the present is immediately shifted...

*heavysigh* i just really need to kick myself in the pants and get on with it... so much to do & experience - SO LITTLE TIME!!! :)

ennyhoo... speaking of kicking myself... my hip hop classes have been very rewarding... a couple of classes have been dedicated to body isolations... which for some reason i've had an affinity for ever since i was a wee one... clearly, all those days of dragging cardboard around with my "crew" (mind you i was in 3rd grade and literally, the "crew" part of "the crew"...)

i'm absolutely fascinated with tutting and finger tutting (see hok and moon)... neither of which i can do convincingly... :) jang woo hyuk on other hand (pun intended)... he and the animation crew are wonderful to watch: (ffwd to the 3:18 mark if you don't want to sit thru the entire video...)



more animation crew:



and because it makes me smile, genki sudo's world order:



happy friday!!!

http://www.smileycodes.info

Friday, June 17, 2011

friday dance: happy early fathers (ricedaddies) day!

you're thinking that i'm thinking of these ricedaddies. and i am... *warmfuzzies* :)

of course, i'm also thinking of my own ricedaddy and my babyricedaddy... :) lovelovelovelovelove...

but, honestly? *pause*

i'm totally OBSESSED with the recent kdrama, The Greatest Love and its insanely handsome ricedaddy star, Cha Seung Won... *shivers* *batsbedroomeyes* *fansself*

*ahem* ...so i decided to post my list/pics of my fave celebrity ricedaddies... admittedly, this post is really for my lumpia, sushi, satay, dimsum, kimchi mamas - but, whatever... hee hee hee...

happy early ricedaddies day! :) anytime any of these dads want a playdate - my schedule is WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY open...



Cha Seung Won - really? do i need to comment?? just gaze. and SAVOR. :) *SQUEE*



John Cho - oh mark chao, even though you broke my heart back in 1998, you're still one o' my faves... :)



Yul Kwon - the only reason i watched Survivor - what year was that anyway??



Russell Wong - ok, i'll admit it - i LOVED the joy luck club - i cried my eyes out for YEARS every time i saw it... so here, you can take my filipina activist card... oh russell, for MONTHS i giggled whenever i saw a watermelon... :)



Ken Watanabe - still amazes me that i saw him in tampopo so long ago and then finally saw him again in the last samurai... what up with that?? where the heck was i and what was i doing?? (btw - his son, Dai Watanabe, is a hottie AND another ricedaddy too!!!)



Koji Yakusho - how do you want those eggs?? (hee hee, i actually loved him more in shall we dance? and saw him most recently in 13 assassins...)




Hines Ward - he dedicated his samba to his kimchi mama!! *swoon*



Alec Mapa - the first time i saw alec was on dharma & greg.... hilarious! and he's still hilarious



Ken Jeong - what's not to love about ken? he's funny, informative and sensitive... meow, seksi!



Jo Koy - JOSEP! I LOVE ORANGE CHICKEN!!!



Tomoya Okazaki - my favorite anime dad from Clannad After Story (he wasn't present/great, but still.... *sniffle* crying again....)




Jin Soo Kwon (Daniel Dae Kim) - my fave tv ricedaddy - TOTALLY COUNTS!!!!

and last but NOT LEAST - my fave father's day video - DAD LIFE



ORNAMENTAL TURTLE! YO! Hope all the Dads (rice & otherwise) have quiet & relaxing Fathers Days!!! :)

http://www.smileycodes.info

Friday, June 03, 2011

friday dance - Happy Birthday Dawn Hampton!!!



years and years and years ago... in the early days (late 90s) of my lindyhop studies... i found myself in new york for work. after design/production meetings (at DKNY) and dinner with my coworkers, i rushed to find any and all swing music venues i could. the first place i ended up was close to my hotel. it was a small dance floor, but there was a great band and jackie mason asked me to dance... seriously! :) but, i was so new, and a little freaked out that i declined his invite - i know, i've regretted it ever since... :)

dancers at that club told me about another venue and a cab ride later, i arrived. i walked in and the first person i saw was dawn hampton. i didn't know she was dawn hampton until years later. but she was unforgettable. she was/is mesmerizing. i honestly don't remember much about the dances i had that night - i mostly remember dawn. first of all, she was grooving by herself amongst all the other dancers. and i mean GROOooOOOOoovin' it.



her solo dance had more musicality and joy in it that most of the dancers out there.... and while many new dancers around her were offbeat entirely or way ahead... she was hanging on the beat, syncopating - just blowing my mind... i knew that i wanted to really learn how to lindyhop. i wanted to throw it down like dawn hampton.... i'm still working on it.... :)

here's one of my FAVORITE clips (of all time) of dawn hampton dancing with one of my favorite teachers/leads/friends - steven mitchell:



and another fave of dawn dancing with the yummy john dokes:



like frankie manning, dawn inspires me to grow more and more youthful everyday... happy happy happy birthday (weekend) dawn hampton!!!!

Tuzki Bunny Emoticon

Friday, May 20, 2011

friday dance - tic tic tic tic toc



early last month, i checked out two films at the asian american showcase at the gene siskel film center hosted by FAAIM : Saigon Electric and One Big Hapa Family. i loved both movies and hope to elaborate on them in separate posts - if a screening pops up near you - GO. SEE. THEM.

after the screening of saigon electric, rasaka theatre performed a short hilarioius spoof of bollywood films... and it occurred to me that i really don't know much music by desi artists... but the more i hear it, the more i want to hear... i'm definitely going to do more research! :)

ever since i was a little kid and saw my first bollywood movie at my friend saba's house, i have always been totally enchanted by the whimsy and drama of desi films and music.... i was reminded of those late 70s days when they showed this clip of jaan pehechaan ho in ghost world:



a year before the paloma was born, a co-worker turned me on to cornershop:



the week after i found out i was preggers w/ porkchop, i flew down to florida for (a mind blowing three weeks) a writing residency with jessica hagedorn (who has a new book out btw)and 7 other (way more accomplished) writers. one of my fellow residents and now friends, mia, introduced me to the music of M.I.A. one of my fave tracks is her remix of busy signal's tic toc:



i found some sweeeeet choreography done by ellen kim:



lastly, anoop desai released some tracks for free and two of them have been looping on my ipod lately:





ennyhoo... happy friday everybody!!! :)

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Tuesday, May 10, 2011

read it: Girls for Breakfast

before i write anything else, i just wanted to share this from the book that almost made me blow chai tea latte out my nose: "...now that's what i call true love. doinking each other's brains out even as the pyroclastic flow vaporizes their genitalia...."

here's the synopsis from the author's website:

"On his graduation day from Renfield High, Nick Park is determined to figure out if his heritage is the cause of his abysmal luck with girls.

Beginning the novel as an unreliable and unknowingly comic narrator, Nick Park struggles to fit into Renfield--an alarmingly homogeneous Connecticut suburb as he grapples with his own ambivalence towards his ethnicity and his neurotic love for girls. Girls For Breakfast is a uniquely funny, unforgettable meditation on love and race, family and friendship,acceptance and isolation.

From killing a hamster in 3rd grade in front of his entire class, to contracting illicit photos of his 8th grade crush, to repeatedly lying about being a 4th degree black belt, Nick Park is a character that you will remember long after you close this book."


zomg... this book was HILARIOUS to read... and for some reason, i kept seeing a young ken leung in my head. and although my love/hate relationship with nick was unnerving and frustrating at times, i have to give david yoo a standing ovation for making me care about and worry over nick park anyway... :)

before i read the book, i thought i'd relate to the character and story for sure because like nick, i grew up in the 80s/90s as well (the all too familiar pop culture references were also a bonus), my high school years were spent in a predominantly white suburb of chicago (my mother was afraid of the chicago schools) and i was one of a (ok, maybe two) handful(s) of asian american students in my class.

unlike nick, my feeling of "otherness" didn't stem from my being asian american - although that blossomed as well - my self segregation came from my facial malformation. when nick realizes his friends notice another asian student as someone "abnormal" or "other", he realizes they think similarly of him. and after all his madcap adventures, in the end, nick's epiphany is that although he may have been judged and bullied unfairly because of his race - his classmates also judged him because he was a completely boneheaded (and slightly pervy) teenager.

it reminded me of a similar situation, when friends of mine commented on another friend being aloof and conceited. i was shocked that they could think that of someone who was very friendly/nice to me and also painfully shy. and i realized that it was possible that i didn't have nearly as many friends because i was really shy too and would rather avoid the risk of rejection completely - not necessarily because i looked the way i did (do).

the same feelings of "non-belonging" (to his non-asian classmates and his korean church's youth club) that nick felt resonated with me as well. i have also felt like i have a foot in the doorway of my asian american identity and another in the doorway of my filipino roots - and conflicted with both. often, i still feel this way... it makes me even more aware of what porkchop and paloma might feel someday or maybe even now and maybe just too young to articulate it...

someday, i hope i stop being so shy, to stop segregating myself from the world, to stop trying to "normalize" myself for the comfort of others and to stop assuming things about other people... i almost always assume (from past experiences) that most people won't talk to me because they don't think a) i speak english b) we have anything in common because we're not the same skin color, age or economic/social class. c) they can stop staring at me.

anyway, this turned out to be a very pensive and kinda depressing review - i rambled. apologies... :) girls for breakfast brought back a lot of high school memories (and nightmares) of who i was, the boys and girls i knew and loved and those others who i quietly disliked...

all in all, the book is painfully (think brazilian wax) honest, so funny (your body will revolt) and often times, an emotional freakshow. i'm not sure i'd be too excited to hear that paloma or porkchop picked it up in high school as there's a LOT of sexual innuendo and sex described in the book - but that's just me... and they're only 8 and 5 now... ask me again in a few years... :) but, for the random adult especially if you grew up in the 80s/90s - i highly recommend it for an easy and hysterical summer read. :)

thanks for coming by and reading!
http://www.smileycodes.info

Thursday, May 05, 2011

friday dance: yo mama's edition ;)

^^ me and my moms (hrh queen o' the improv interpretive line dance herself) , the paloma and my sister on her wedding day... :)

ok. so i think i post this every year... no surprise there - it's a fave... apl de ap's mama filipina :)



i've been feeling all kinds of nostalgic this week so i'll throw in this "oldie" from boyz to men (zomg... i LOVED them... no wonder i love the sing off) this version from elevate and this one by legaci are so nice too! :)



how could i not... :)



and since they were on the same awesome soundtrack and it IS friday dance... the ladies of total w/ missy elliot:



happy friday! and happy mother's day to my moms, my moms in law, all the moms - so lucky to have you in my life as inspiration, support, comic relief and co-conspirators!!!! :)


http://www.smileycodes.info

Friday, April 29, 2011

friday dance: #royalwedding dance edition


well, it IS... ;) happy royal wedding dance friday!!!







well, of course i'm going to throw our wedding dance in there! >:)

Friday, April 22, 2011

friday dance - i wish for you



FINALLY!!!!! a (14 member, japanese) boy (?) band that has members MY AGE!

don't. go. there.

for your listening and visual pleasure - EXILE don't miss (the shirtless workout) the smiling dancing children >:)



for a translation of the song, click here and on the far right click translation. the lyrics are really lovely - a fervent and heartfelt wish for your happiness... :)

ennyhoo... it's off and on rain here in chicago for the next week or so. and somehow my little family will facilitate yet another (soggy) apartment move. best wishes to you and yours for a happy (or *notsohappy* Good or Earth Day) friday!!! And Happy Easter (to those of you who celebrate it)!!!

http://www.smileycodes.info

Friday, April 15, 2011

an evening with @angryasianman

DUDE.

last night, i finally met the man behind angryasianman, phil yu! & hot dang, girls, he's cuter in person! for realsies! :)

he talked to students at my alma mater, columbia college chicago. it was a good sized crowd of both asian and non asian students.

gawd, they were young... and funny, and energetic and charming... holey moley, did i feel like a dinosaur. :) back in "my day", when the campus consisted of four buildings, i can count on my one hand the number of asian students that attended... i think that had more to do with the art school name recognition - columbia v. art institute - than anything else... and without trying to perpetuate another asian stereotype - i didn't know too many midwestern asian kids who went or even dreamed about going to art school like me... :)

i didn't really learn anything new about phil that i hadn't already read from interviews, i'd already read... except 1) phil's saw his first asian american film festival in chicago. 2) getting a degree in film, helped him realize that he didn't ever want to work in film. which surprised me since he lives in LA and seems well connected to film industry types and really, who wouldn't want to work with wong fu productions... :) 3) he prefers the blog without comments because readers end up linking to content on his blog and blog about it elsewhere so the information is dispersed and the blog is less of an echo chamber... *raises hand* guilty as charged.

at the start of the event, a student began with her own story of how she found the angryasianman blog and went on to say how much she relies on it for information and entertainment and how if helps her feel a part of a larger community. i totally agree. she also reminded me of how i came to find the angryasianman blog...

i started blogging shortly after paloma was born in 2003 as a way of chronicling my new life as a mom - and frankly, it gave me something to do with the odd sleeping and waking hours we kept. i also started to frequent online parenting forums on craigslist and urbanbaby.

now, craigslist also has a people of color forum - another community that i visited often. i think i was one of two maybe three asian women in that forum. and occasionally, folks from modelminority and maybe, yellow world would drive by and drop links and chat.... well, as per usual, the thorny issue of interracial dating came up. and i was asked if i was married to an asian man. i was honest and said no. and immediately i got flamed, called a sellout, self hating and a race traitor, etc... i asked one of the asian dads, "what will you do if your daughter falls in love with a non asian?" he replied, "she wouldn't do that because she'll know better."

that same exchange happened in every forum i stepped into - modelminority... yellowworld, etc... it absolutely broke my heart that any deep and loving relationships with asian men - friends, grandfathers, father, brother, cousins - were all negated because i'd married a white (mixed puerto rican) man. it didn't matter how proud i was to be filipino or how i supported/felt about the filipino or larger asian community... it didn't even matter that i acknowledged that sellouts and self haters existed... i married out. so i was the enemy.

i tried to explain that a) i was born with a very visible malformation on my neck - and that NO MAN - asian or non asian - was going to find that appealing. i knew at an early age, that only someone REALLY special was going to see past my appearance... b) for years and years, i pined (languished, really) for the attention of asian men... but i was always his best friend or more often HER best friend that could help him win her over... and guess what? SHE WAS USUALLY WHITE. my heart was broken (crushed) time after time... eventually, in college, when someone actually showed a romantic interest in me, he turned out to be white. and the first time an asian guy showed a romantic interest in me, i was already in a serious relationship with the thin man....

eventually, i gave up on engaging in conversations on forums and ended up quietly lurking...

often the forum posters would post links to phil's blog. i was a little hesitant to visit just from the name of the blog... i was too tired to be yelled at again... but i clicked and was relieved to find that he wasn't quite as angry as the name implied... or divisive and even accepting or at the very least tolerant of the diversity within the asian community... the items he posted (posts) were (are) always hilarious, honest, evocative and empowering...

and the rest is history... thru angryasianman blog, i found the kimchi mamas, the rice daddies, racialicious (before it was racialicious - mixed media watch -where i got my 5 minutes of blog fame w/ the rosie o'donnell ching chong fiasco), disgrasian, reappropriate, fighting 44s, etc... and thru all of those blogs i found more asian blogs and forums and a renewed/redefined sense of belonging... i was/am thankful that there was/is space in the room for a slacker asian blogger like me.

i'm so happy and proud that angryasianman is celebrating it's 10 year (what?!) anniversary. and how does that translate in human years anyway?? ;) it's a stunning milestone for a one in a million blog.

so phil, thanks for all the insightful and thought provoking reading material this past DECADE (head essplodes) - can't wait to see what you post in the next 10 years... hopefully, A PODCAST. (he also said he wants us readers to keep bugging him about the lack of one... podcast! podcast! podcast!)

and more shirtless pics of keanu... and rain... and daniel liu... and harry shum... :)

oh, and fewer pictures of asians in extreme eating contests... >:P

Tuzki Bunny Emoticon stay angry! :)

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