Monday, April 30, 2007
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
needless to say...
the virginia tech thing f*cked my sh*t up and i've been avoiding all contact with the world - online or offline.... luckily, the weather has been cooperating and so, we've been in the backyard, kicking beach balls, drawing with chalk, riding tricycles and swinging our toes up to the sun.
but - this seemed like a pretty fun bunch of questions (via my galpal, maggs) to answer and will help me ease back into posting again. and btw - i've been thinkin' about and missin' all y'all!!!
1) Who did you talk to the most today? the paloma. and only because she speaks. i would have preferred to talk to the porkchop - i don't think he would have been nearly as b*tchy. what. a. diva.
2) What is the best name for a butler? first name - johnny, ewan, russell, jude, heath. last name - depp, mcgregor, crowe, law, ledger. respectively. seriously, what self respecting stay at home mom doesn't want a celebrity dad for a butler?
3) What was your last weird encounter? last weekend, a man was screaming up and down state street. he was either screaming "SELFISH!" or "SHELLFISH!" over and over and over. i couldn't quite make it out.
4) What's the weirdest story of one of your scars? (puglet's copying and pasting these questions to answer on her blog right now....) the weirdest story affiliated with my CH scar has got to be that when my mom wanted to take baby pictures of me for posterity, the doctors took the camera away and told her it was better that i never knew what i looked like as a baby. she somehow got the camera back and scored some pics but when she opened the camera to develop the film, it was gone.
5) Do you remember the part from Bambi when Bambi learns to say "bear"? nicely played. trick question. bambi doesn't learn how to say bear. he learns how to say "bird", "butterfly" and "flower". never try to school a stay at home mom with disney trivia.
6) What color is your toothbrush? i just realized i have three... upstairs master bath - a sonicare (white/teal) one and a pink one (for when i'm rushing). downstairs powder room - a navy blue one (for when the paloma is having a fall down, all appendages flailing, tantrum on the floor and the porkchop is climbing over the safety gate to get to the cats).
7) What is your middle name spelled backwards? eman elddim ruoy
8) Can you eat well with chopsticks? not really. but i can play them on the piano. i can barely get food into my mouth with a fork. i'm WAY better with my hands.
9) What odd things creep you out? non-sealife stuff that washes up on beaches and i'm not talking seaglass. and the random urban (prophylactic) detritus that ends up in the cobwebby corners of playground equipment. i know you just threw up a little in yer mouth.
10) Have you ever felt an earthquake? yes. thankfully, they were never anything newsworthy.
11) What do you do with the hot grease when you're done cooking bacon? i discard all but a tbsp or two and start making carbonara.
12) What's the weirdest thing you have ever eaten? haggis. at the edinburgh castle in san francisco.
13) What color are your socks today? i am sockless.
14) What is your favorite word that starts with the letter G? today it is - gelato.
15) Who do you blame for your mood today? me, myself and i.
16) If Ricky Martin had a trademark what would it be? can you trademark clones?
17) What is something scientists need to invent? true eco-friendly, reliable, cheap, public transit. as in cars that run on garbage and drive themselves...
18) What is the closest object to your left foot? a large plastic dump truck filled with matchbox cars, little people, fisher price airplanes and john deere tractors.
19) Who is your favorite Golden Girl? jill masterson. (and you get some serious netflix geek points if you get that...)
20) Do you have an inside joke that has to do with numbers? no. i have lame kid jokes that have to do with numbers. AND YOU WILL LAUGH. OH YES. YOU WILL.
21) What is the longest amount of hours you have slept in a row? 8. shocking, i know.
22) Where was your mother's hometown? somewhere in iligan, the philippines.
23) Where was your father's hometown? north of manila. the philippines.
24) What are the posters on your walls? in this room, we have a huge painting that the paloma did. she dipped her feet in different colors of paint and walked all over the paper. on the other wall, there's a hooked rug of kermit the frog that my best friend made.
25) Birthday? yes. once a year.
26) Say two words that rhyme. two words that rhyme.
27) Do you use online terms in real life? no. i do however use real life terms online.
28) What do you think people think of you? most people don't think about me at all. i can name a handful however who hate me. and with good reason.
29) Do you think this year will be better than the last? i always hope. but don't tell anybody.
30) Who is the 1st person on your incoming call list and how do you feel about them? my stepsister. i love her lots. i'm so glad our parents met and married.
40) Do you know who Salad Fingers Is? yes. him and his finger puppets scare me.
41) What is the stupidest thing you have ever done? i've burned many a bridge because i was too young (and probably too inebriated) to know any better.
42) What is your favorite commercial of the moment? the TMobile who's in your 5? commercials - especially the one with the dad and the prospective boyfriend. that's so the thin man in 13 years.
43) What does it take to make you cry? not much. observing/witnessing the simplicities, wonders and truths of this world and this life - i'm your friend that runs the waterworks 24/7...
44) What are you looking forward to? the end of these questions.
45) Have you ever cried because you thought you were ugly? no. i always cry because i'm SO BEAUTIFUL!!! i wish all of you were as beautiful as me!
46) Who did you kiss today? the paloma, the porkchop, the thin man. and the random cold viruses that they are all harboring...
47) What do you like to do when you are alone? write. read. nap. knit. draw. kegels.
48) Who are your 2 favorite characters on Full House? the characters in the commercials.
49) What is missing from your life? time, patience and independence
50) Would you be ashamed if you wore hippie clothes? i am wearing hippie clothes. what's your point?
51) Grab the closest book, what does the 7th sentence on the 27th page say? i'm in the playroom - NONE of these books have a 27th page or a 7th sentence. admit it. you want my life!
52) When was the last time you slept with a stuffed animal? a cat sleeps very definitively between my feet every night. and it's because of this, that sometimes, i want to get her stuffed.
53) If it was your last day on earth what shoes would you wear? on my last day on earth, i wouldn't be wearing shoes.... shoes are the last thing i'd be thinking about... on the second to last day on earth, i'd be wearing the most expensive pair of imported shoes i could steal.
54) Do you own a Super Nintendo? no
55) What do you think of Law and Order? i wish i could get paid to write. then i think, i wish i could just write.
56) Can you name all 7 dwarfs? dopey, grumpy, doc, bashful, sleepy, sneezy, happy. see #5.
57) Have you ever pretended to be Jewish? yes. but only at the last beastie boys concert. to get back stage. as a relative. CHALLAH!
58) What was the last thing you thought you lost, but ended up finding it? my california state ID. which expired on my birthday.... frackity frack frack!!
59) What were you doing at midnight last night? listening to the porkchop wake up and then cry. yes, i went over there and picked him up.
60) If you had a ball of clay what would you mold it into? an exact replica of me. then, i might actually be able to go to the loo by myself.
61) What does your Milkshake bring to the yard? nothing... now, if i had a top notch milkshake - i'd have the entire chicago police department in my yard.
62) Do you have any famous relatives? no. but i have met many famous folk (thank you FAO Schwarz) and they're like everybody else... just shorter.
but - this seemed like a pretty fun bunch of questions (via my galpal, maggs) to answer and will help me ease back into posting again. and btw - i've been thinkin' about and missin' all y'all!!!
1) Who did you talk to the most today? the paloma. and only because she speaks. i would have preferred to talk to the porkchop - i don't think he would have been nearly as b*tchy. what. a. diva.
2) What is the best name for a butler? first name - johnny, ewan, russell, jude, heath. last name - depp, mcgregor, crowe, law, ledger. respectively. seriously, what self respecting stay at home mom doesn't want a celebrity dad for a butler?
3) What was your last weird encounter? last weekend, a man was screaming up and down state street. he was either screaming "SELFISH!" or "SHELLFISH!" over and over and over. i couldn't quite make it out.
4) What's the weirdest story of one of your scars? (puglet's copying and pasting these questions to answer on her blog right now....) the weirdest story affiliated with my CH scar has got to be that when my mom wanted to take baby pictures of me for posterity, the doctors took the camera away and told her it was better that i never knew what i looked like as a baby. she somehow got the camera back and scored some pics but when she opened the camera to develop the film, it was gone.
5) Do you remember the part from Bambi when Bambi learns to say "bear"? nicely played. trick question. bambi doesn't learn how to say bear. he learns how to say "bird", "butterfly" and "flower". never try to school a stay at home mom with disney trivia.
6) What color is your toothbrush? i just realized i have three... upstairs master bath - a sonicare (white/teal) one and a pink one (for when i'm rushing). downstairs powder room - a navy blue one (for when the paloma is having a fall down, all appendages flailing, tantrum on the floor and the porkchop is climbing over the safety gate to get to the cats).
7) What is your middle name spelled backwards? eman elddim ruoy
8) Can you eat well with chopsticks? not really. but i can play them on the piano. i can barely get food into my mouth with a fork. i'm WAY better with my hands.
9) What odd things creep you out? non-sealife stuff that washes up on beaches and i'm not talking seaglass. and the random urban (prophylactic) detritus that ends up in the cobwebby corners of playground equipment. i know you just threw up a little in yer mouth.
10) Have you ever felt an earthquake? yes. thankfully, they were never anything newsworthy.
11) What do you do with the hot grease when you're done cooking bacon? i discard all but a tbsp or two and start making carbonara.
12) What's the weirdest thing you have ever eaten? haggis. at the edinburgh castle in san francisco.
13) What color are your socks today? i am sockless.
14) What is your favorite word that starts with the letter G? today it is - gelato.
15) Who do you blame for your mood today? me, myself and i.
16) If Ricky Martin had a trademark what would it be? can you trademark clones?
17) What is something scientists need to invent? true eco-friendly, reliable, cheap, public transit. as in cars that run on garbage and drive themselves...
18) What is the closest object to your left foot? a large plastic dump truck filled with matchbox cars, little people, fisher price airplanes and john deere tractors.
19) Who is your favorite Golden Girl? jill masterson. (and you get some serious netflix geek points if you get that...)
20) Do you have an inside joke that has to do with numbers? no. i have lame kid jokes that have to do with numbers. AND YOU WILL LAUGH. OH YES. YOU WILL.
21) What is the longest amount of hours you have slept in a row? 8. shocking, i know.
22) Where was your mother's hometown? somewhere in iligan, the philippines.
23) Where was your father's hometown? north of manila. the philippines.
24) What are the posters on your walls? in this room, we have a huge painting that the paloma did. she dipped her feet in different colors of paint and walked all over the paper. on the other wall, there's a hooked rug of kermit the frog that my best friend made.
25) Birthday? yes. once a year.
26) Say two words that rhyme. two words that rhyme.
27) Do you use online terms in real life? no. i do however use real life terms online.
28) What do you think people think of you? most people don't think about me at all. i can name a handful however who hate me. and with good reason.
29) Do you think this year will be better than the last? i always hope. but don't tell anybody.
30) Who is the 1st person on your incoming call list and how do you feel about them? my stepsister. i love her lots. i'm so glad our parents met and married.
40) Do you know who Salad Fingers Is? yes. him and his finger puppets scare me.
41) What is the stupidest thing you have ever done? i've burned many a bridge because i was too young (and probably too inebriated) to know any better.
42) What is your favorite commercial of the moment? the TMobile who's in your 5? commercials - especially the one with the dad and the prospective boyfriend. that's so the thin man in 13 years.
43) What does it take to make you cry? not much. observing/witnessing the simplicities, wonders and truths of this world and this life - i'm your friend that runs the waterworks 24/7...
44) What are you looking forward to? the end of these questions.
45) Have you ever cried because you thought you were ugly? no. i always cry because i'm SO BEAUTIFUL!!! i wish all of you were as beautiful as me!
46) Who did you kiss today? the paloma, the porkchop, the thin man. and the random cold viruses that they are all harboring...
47) What do you like to do when you are alone? write. read. nap. knit. draw. kegels.
48) Who are your 2 favorite characters on Full House? the characters in the commercials.
49) What is missing from your life? time, patience and independence
50) Would you be ashamed if you wore hippie clothes? i am wearing hippie clothes. what's your point?
51) Grab the closest book, what does the 7th sentence on the 27th page say? i'm in the playroom - NONE of these books have a 27th page or a 7th sentence. admit it. you want my life!
52) When was the last time you slept with a stuffed animal? a cat sleeps very definitively between my feet every night. and it's because of this, that sometimes, i want to get her stuffed.
53) If it was your last day on earth what shoes would you wear? on my last day on earth, i wouldn't be wearing shoes.... shoes are the last thing i'd be thinking about... on the second to last day on earth, i'd be wearing the most expensive pair of imported shoes i could steal.
54) Do you own a Super Nintendo? no
55) What do you think of Law and Order? i wish i could get paid to write. then i think, i wish i could just write.
56) Can you name all 7 dwarfs? dopey, grumpy, doc, bashful, sleepy, sneezy, happy. see #5.
57) Have you ever pretended to be Jewish? yes. but only at the last beastie boys concert. to get back stage. as a relative. CHALLAH!
58) What was the last thing you thought you lost, but ended up finding it? my california state ID. which expired on my birthday.... frackity frack frack!!
59) What were you doing at midnight last night? listening to the porkchop wake up and then cry. yes, i went over there and picked him up.
60) If you had a ball of clay what would you mold it into? an exact replica of me. then, i might actually be able to go to the loo by myself.
61) What does your Milkshake bring to the yard? nothing... now, if i had a top notch milkshake - i'd have the entire chicago police department in my yard.
62) Do you have any famous relatives? no. but i have met many famous folk (thank you FAO Schwarz) and they're like everybody else... just shorter.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
do not buy this book for your child.
here at chez 'zilla, we read a bevy of books as part of our nighttime routines. lately, it's been really fun (in the paloma's room anyway... back in the porkchop's crib, it's all..."good night moon, good night cow jumping over the moon, good night light and the red balloon" blah blah blah ad nauseum... ad nausea...). we stack up the pillows and hunker down in the blankets, read new stories, look at some pretty pictures and yawn and discuss and yawn and point and yawn again....the thin man has enrolled the paloma in eb white 101 and roald dahl 101. and i've been slowly plugging thru the children's books that we (my sisters and me) all bought while in manila. finally, i came across this one, "ang pambihirang buhok ni raquel" or "raquel's fantastic hair".
i think my sister (whose name is pronounced "raquel" but is spelled "rachel" - i don't know why.) thought this was funny and oddly coincidental. but, i don't think she actually cracked open the book. or at least i hope she didn't... i'm hoping it was an honest mistake.
now, i don't know if it's because i think the market for childrens books is bigger here than in the philippines and/or because i've seen/read so many. or because i'm so familiar with the sick child book genre. when i see a childrens book about hair, i almost automatically assume it has something to do with illness. or race. this book? it throws in BOTH - for good measure.
anyhoo - four sentences into the story you read:
"Raquel doesn't know that I envy her. For she is truly pretty, with flawless fair skin."
*insert sound of car - schreeching to a halt*
WTF?! TRULY PRETTY = FAIR SKIN??!! here i was (a dark skinned filipina) reading this story to my (fair skinned, mixed race) daughter.
i paused for a little bit... and against my better judgment continued to read, i thought, "ok, it can't be as bad as i think. maybe there's an epiphany at the end...TWO sentences later... it got worse:
"When i compare myself with her, I feel inferior."
in the story, ana, the dark skinned "country cousin" (who btw - smells and sweats and doesn't speak good english), begins to visit raquel, the "city cousin", in manila. during one of their playdates, raquel faints and her fantastic hair falls off. apparently, raquel has leukemia and wears many different wigs. she's rushed to the hospital. and while waiting for her, ana has a revelation:
"Yes, I may not be rich, I may not be as beautiful, and I have a dark skin. But I am healthy."
i was so unsatisfied with the climax of this story that at this point, i stopped to discuss all of this with the paloma. we've had similar conversations already about my being different from other mommies. when she was very young, too young to speak, she questioned it - she would gently caress my CH and then trace her own face. finally, when she could talk, she asked about it, what it was, if it hurt... lately, it doesn't come up in conversation much at all anymore though i'm sure it will come up again later.
i really wasn't sure how or if she was processing this story. so i said, "paloma, this story makes me kind of sad." she responded, "why mommy?" and i said, "because the girl in the story is sad because her skin is darker than her cousins. is it bad that i have dark skin?" and she replied,"mommy,your skin is darker than mine. but that just means we're different. it's ok to be different. don't be sad because you're different. i love you." she smiled up at me and patted my dark skinned hand with her fair skinned hand.
i should have prefaced this whole post letting all of you non-filipinos know that it's actually very common for filipinos to say things like "oh, she's so beautiful! her skin is so light" or "stay out of the sun, you don't want to get too dark!" i remember when we were still children, my sisters and cousins would apply eskinol (a common face cleanser in the philippines, like clearasil here, that doubles as a skin whitener) before leaving for grade school. in college, my mother, a light skinned filipina, greeted me at the airport upon my return from a long weary trip from spain with an obvious frown, furiously rubbing my dark sunkissed face with spit on her thumb saying, "are you... DIRTY!?". and just recently on our trip to the philippines, the paloma was FAWNED over - all over manila - everyone commenting on her beautiful fair skin. it hurt especially when my own sister said to the paloma about my new, dark and beautiful niece, "i hope she doesn't get too jealous of you and your fair skin."
i am my father's daughter and like him, i am dark. as a child, it was made abundantly clear that i wasn't like other "superior" filipinas. to my critics, it was tragic enough that i was born "disabled" (their terminology, not mine), but to top it all off - how sad it was that i was dark. thankfully, it was easy for me to get over being dark - especially because all of my caucasian friends kept going to the lake, summer day, after summer day, after summer day, in an effort to achieve an all over bronze like me. i was a walking paint chip for bain de soleil. i really wish i could write more on the domination and history of western beauty ideals in asia but i'm just not that educated. suffice to say, it's an archaic standard and it's not something i will perpetuate or tolerate in my house.
the author of the book, luis p gatmaitan m.d., wrote another book that we have - a BETTER book - called "sandosenang sapatos" or "A Dozen Pairs of Shoes". i can recommend this book to you. it's another story that follows the lives of a shoemaker and his two daughters - one is born without feet. it's a charming story and it's especially poignant because it was sent to me by my youngest sister and reminds me of our relationship and my relationship with my father.
i can also tell you that the publisher of the book, adarna house, has other great storybooks told in both tagalog and english with wonderful whimsical illustrations by filipino artists. we bought many of their books during our trip and so far all of them have been great. but i will definitely be sending an email to them to complain about this book.
Friday, April 13, 2007
i am the mother
of ed grimley's love child.
i love this little guy so much! i couldn't be more excited!
it makes me mental! maybe he loves me back - maybe not!
it's difficult to say!
but, he's a pretty decent guy, i must say!
i love this little guy so much! i couldn't be more excited!
it makes me mental! maybe he loves me back - maybe not!
it's difficult to say!
but, he's a pretty decent guy, i must say!
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
gimme five minutes... my kingdom for FIVE minutes!
i SWEAR! i PROMISE i am going to post to this blog regularly again...
honestly, i have draft posts up the wazoo right now. but the paloma is on spring break and has giddily woken up every morning to put on her cowhide chaps and ride me like a rodeo clown on mechanical bull. i sh*t you not.
last week and last weekend were pretty busy too.... we've had some exterior and interior work done on the house. we had the yew bushes in the front and side yards extracted. the yards look pretty bare, but better bare than claustrophobic.
then, we finally had an electrician friend/neighbor come by and install our dining room chandelier and sconces. *sigh* it's really quite pretty.
lastly, the painters came by and painted our dining and living rooms. hey kids, can you say "contact high"? photos to come...
saturday, i stepped into a chuck e. cheese for the first time in decades. why can't ADULTS have birthday parties there? i would SERIOUSLY kick your *SS at skee-ball. oh yes, i would. you will kowtow to my skee-ball greatness.
and sunday, after easter lunch? dinner? lunner? dinch? i don't know what we ate really.... i saved the paloma from a harrowing experience with her cousin. they were playing QUIETLY downstairs in my sister's basement. so i knew something was wrong. when i got down there i found that he had tied her up with headphone wire to a table leg. and proceeded to draw on her with sidewalk chalk. don't ask. i'm still trying to process it myself. thankfully, no nightmares so i don't think she's scarred for life.
and yesterday, like a good responsible mamazilla, i checked out. and did nothing. oh, except for writing another post that is still in draft form....
anyhoo - today, the paloma and i have an aquarium playdate set up. the porkchop will be with a sitter today. (already i know my mind will not be at peace. not because i don't trust the sitter. i don't trust the porkchop. that poor, poor defenseless woman....)
honestly, i have draft posts up the wazoo right now. but the paloma is on spring break and has giddily woken up every morning to put on her cowhide chaps and ride me like a rodeo clown on mechanical bull. i sh*t you not.
last week and last weekend were pretty busy too.... we've had some exterior and interior work done on the house. we had the yew bushes in the front and side yards extracted. the yards look pretty bare, but better bare than claustrophobic.
then, we finally had an electrician friend/neighbor come by and install our dining room chandelier and sconces. *sigh* it's really quite pretty.
lastly, the painters came by and painted our dining and living rooms. hey kids, can you say "contact high"? photos to come...
saturday, i stepped into a chuck e. cheese for the first time in decades. why can't ADULTS have birthday parties there? i would SERIOUSLY kick your *SS at skee-ball. oh yes, i would. you will kowtow to my skee-ball greatness.
and sunday, after easter lunch? dinner? lunner? dinch? i don't know what we ate really.... i saved the paloma from a harrowing experience with her cousin. they were playing QUIETLY downstairs in my sister's basement. so i knew something was wrong. when i got down there i found that he had tied her up with headphone wire to a table leg. and proceeded to draw on her with sidewalk chalk. don't ask. i'm still trying to process it myself. thankfully, no nightmares so i don't think she's scarred for life.
and yesterday, like a good responsible mamazilla, i checked out. and did nothing. oh, except for writing another post that is still in draft form....
anyhoo - today, the paloma and i have an aquarium playdate set up. the porkchop will be with a sitter today. (already i know my mind will not be at peace. not because i don't trust the sitter. i don't trust the porkchop. that poor, poor defenseless woman....)
Sunday, April 08, 2007
happy easter!
just found this interesting mini documentary about easter... (warning - the final text in the end is a little bible thumpery...)
wishing you all a relaxing sunday!
UPDATE 04/09/07: on the spur of the moment i got a chance to see author, david sedaris , read at the chicago theatre last night. he read a HILARIOUS essay about easter icons and language barriers from his book of essays "me talk pretty one day". i found a copy of the essay here or here or listen to him reading it here at the very end of the broadcast.
laughter, clapping and crying WILL ensue. have kleenex at the ready.
he's on tour - go see him now!
wishing you all a relaxing sunday!
UPDATE 04/09/07: on the spur of the moment i got a chance to see author, david sedaris , read at the chicago theatre last night. he read a HILARIOUS essay about easter icons and language barriers from his book of essays "me talk pretty one day". i found a copy of the essay here or here or listen to him reading it here at the very end of the broadcast.
laughter, clapping and crying WILL ensue. have kleenex at the ready.
he's on tour - go see him now!
Thursday, April 05, 2007
happy feet
i should preface this post by revealing that i, mamazilla, am a lapsed cradle catholic.i'm lapsed in the sense that if i didn't dislike our parish church so much and if the kids didn't ride the thin man and myself like busted playground equipment during mass, we'd still be attending church for the next three nights (holy thursday, good friday, easter vigil) with easter sunday as a bonus. i'm not lapsed because i'm disillusioned about being catholic - i should be. there's plenty to be disillusioned about -but i'm not.
and tonight, i might've considered having my feet washed. that's right. this evening, catholics all around the world will be allowing others to wash their feet and will in turn wash someone elses. it's a symbolic gesture/ritual that we do to commemorate what jesus did at the last supper, teaching by example, a lesson about serving others and to allow others to serve you. and yes, i’ll spare you the sermon. 'cause god forbid, i mention easter and kids and being catholic or *shudder* christian in the same post. we're all raving homophobes and pro life vigilantes.
this made me reflect and think about humility and worth and teaching and service and how they are linked together. it reminds me of how much the paloma likes to be "of service" and how much like me she is in that way.
a week or so ago, i got the chance to volunteer to read to her classmates at her preschool for the day and "in appreciation", the paloma set up a tray for me with a vase of teeny silk flowers, a small porcelain teacup of water and a matching saucer of animal cookies with a napkin w/ napkin ring on the side. i know that the students are asked to do this by their teachers but she was REALLY happy to do it and she did went about her duty dilligently and with a true spirit of service. she walked over to me very slowly and carefully - something she NEVER does - and placed the tray in front of me very purposefully and said, "here mommy, i made this for you." i could've cried. instead, i stamped that memory in my head and made sure to thank her for all her hard work and for sharing me with her classmates. i can't wait to volunteer again.
i often joke to my childless friends about how thankless this parenting job is – much like other service jobs in restaurants, retail, waste management, construction, etc… that my employers (the paloma and the porkchop) pay me in desiccated cheerios and used diapers. unlike other jobs, i can’t apply for disability for back injury or deafness due to circumstances while on the job. i don't get vacation days or sick days and i can't quit. i just serve and serve everyday (which is why i didn't give anything up for lent. i'll admit it. i'm a little bitter).
i wish i could say that i love being a mother. i don't. i don't hate it. but i don't love it. i do however love my children. and there really isn't one single thing that keeps me going. throughout a day, i can think of little things, here or there, that get me through the next minute or hour. watching the paloma and the porkchop become more independent is one of those things.
this past weekend, we locked ourselves out of our garage. we had to break a window (a 3 x 2 pane) the ONLY other way into the garage. of course, neither the thin man nor myself could squeeze ourselves thru such a small hole. the paloma however would fit perfectly. i was against it from the start. i had visions of sleepless night after sleepless night, of nightmare fits about spiders, broken glass and dark holes. but, the thin man talked to her about it. showed her the window. showed her the car thru the window. explained to her what she needed to do, how she was helping us, etc.... i was so sure she wouldn't do it. i turned around to save the porkchop from another possible head injury and when i looked back, the paloma was gone. whoosh. lowered into the garage she went and thin man's head followed her. i ran to the big garage door just as she opened it with the remote. she was standing next to the car with a big goofy grin. and that night, no nightmares, no nothing.
today, the porkchop got away from me (again) and climbed up the first few steps to our second floor. i was sure he'd take a tumble coming down (again) but he actually got down on his belly and negotiated them with that handy reverse crawl. he got pretty confident and while i supervised nearby, tried it again and again, succeeding everytime with the same handful of steps.
there's something about them discovering their independence makes me proud of the work we've done and the time we've spent together to get where we are. but there is something about being needed by them that will always reverberate deep within me. i guess that's what keeps me going, being needed. being an essential.
so the rest of today (like all other days), is dedicated to serving them but, i think i'll try to encourage them to "serve" me too. i need them to know that they are essential to me. that i need them right back. maybe, we'll serve each other snacks at snack time. i know i'll get especially squeamish when the porkchop takes a goldfish out of his mouth and puts it in mine. but hey, it's just for today. then, she can pour some milk into his sippy cup. at bedtime, the paloma can help me with the porkchop's diaper and pajamas and maybe the porkchop can help the paloma with the toothpaste and the soap dispenser. i may even let them brush my teeth and "read" to me for a change.
it'll make for a long (and arduous) day for sure. but, their service and sacrifice is worth it.
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
walking unassisted
the paloma circa 2004 @ 14 mos
the porkchop circa 2006 @ 9 mos
sometimes, the thin man and i marvel at the paloma and the porkchop - about how quickly she started talking and how quickly he started walking... and now, i'm actually beginning to worry that they're getting that... spunk?... moxie?... gumption?... egads, aggression?... from me.
yesterday morning, i read a post called "transformations" over at chicago chick (who btw - is getting her family ready for the sale of their current condo and eventually the move into their new house, while weathering the plagues of financial hemorraging, physical torture and mental distress. hang in there, girl!).
anyway, in her post, she wrote something that has been on my mind ever since i read it:
"Yesterday I asked David if he loved me and he said that he loved me more lately. Of course I asked "Whaddaya mean LATELY?". His response was that he loved me more since I decided to become part of his marriage. Huh? He went on to explain that I am so independent that at times he didn't think I was his better half..... Maybe I'm mellowing out or maybe I'm just too tired to go the remainder of my life alone, but he's right. I am very independent and it will probably never change but I have learned to rely on him more."
coincidentally, i've been thinking a lot about my own independence (or lack thereof) and i just happened to flip thru a book of daily inspirations for the year (i've also been feeling a little uninspired as of late) and today, march 28, is devoted to "cultivating a self assured attitude". it says:
"....Self-assurance is an attitude that assumes you will always get what you need and that at this moment you are in the process of getting it. Self assurance assumes that others are available and want to help and that you don't have to do it all by yourself..... When a woman is too confident and independent, it is sometimes a sign that she is not at all sure that others are there for her, and so she has to do it all herself...."
of course, when i read this i had a "yeah. no sh*t, sherlock." moment. but, then it hit me. i am really not as self assured as i think i am. i'm not as self assured as i used to be, even a year ago. sometimes, i think with each passing day, that i am becoming less and less self assured.
honestly, i've never assumed that i would always get what i needed. and i rarely feel that i am in the process of getting what i need.
i know intellectually that there are friends and family and sometimes even complete strangers who make themselves available to me for help. but i ALWAYS feel like i have to do it all by myself. i NEED to do things by myself. and i do this for two reasons 1) i don't want to feel like i owe anyone anything (even if it's a pair of marshmallow peeps). 2) i don't want to appear weak or inferior or disabled (looking the way i do, it's almost a given, as in - ("she MUST be disabled, just look at her").
as a child, i wanted to grow up fast for my mom. she never asked me to do so but i just knew, it was hard for her to be a single mom, to make enough money to keep us fed, clothed and sheltered. it was difficult for her to work so often and so dilligently and know that i almost always came home to an empty house. life was always especially tough when i got sick or when i was due for another operation. my mother used to scold me all time for trying to do everything too quickly and certainly before i was old enough to learn, or rather, NEEDED to learn life/survival skills that she, as an adult, took for granted. i didn't want her to think that i was "behind" the average child my age. i needed to show her that she wouldn't always have to look after me.
eventually, as a single adult, i fashioned a life for myself. and i mean "fashioned" in the truest sense. i dreamt it up and meticulously designed it. drafted the pattern. shopped for the finest materials and notions to lovingly create it - cut it out, sewed it up, made some alterations - and it fit me like a glove. and to the general public, it probably looked like most "haute couture" garments - unwearable, confining, impractical, eccentric, maybe even a little fugly. but it was my life. and it sounds weird, but i especially felt like i had finally released my mom from her responsiblities re: me. i was finally and happily the only one responsible for me.
everywhere i had lived, i had always made sure that i could live there on my terms. at the very least, i (as a single asian female) had to live somewhere that was within my means, relatively safe, had public transit and/or the random taxi nearby and a grocery store within walking distance.
now, i'm married and a mother and i've taken on the responsibilities of caring for three other precious lives outside of my own. and almost every other day, i feel like i've failed one of them, if not all of them. a few days ago, i told the thin man that recently i started feeling like i was working retail again. i feel that same obligation i felt at former mcjobs to always smile when customers were nearby. i don't want to feel this way around my family or friends. i find myself feeling isolated both physically and emotionally (which isn't really a stretch for someone as antisocial/shy as me but it's been BAD lately).
when we moved to our house and this neighborhood, it fit the above criteria - pretty much. but with time i realized the harsh reality is this:
i'm living in a house that although it is BEAUTIFUL is way too big for me to care for and by virtue of its age will probably always need something fixed or replaced or installed. our neighborhood, one of the handful of chicago "cop and firemen" neighborhoods, is very safe but because of it's troubled racial history feels strangely unpredictable and volatile to me. although i live close to the commuter train stop, i am at the mercy of the train's (sometimes hourly) schedule (not to mention, two dueling toddler nap schedules and the short, easily tired legs of a four year old). although we live in chicago, taxi cabs (and they are legion, prowling like sharks for chum) do not wander aimlessly this far south. we live very close to a really great local organic grocer but it doesn't stock EVERY SINGLE THING i need. a grocery run might actually include separate trips to the drugstore, the liquor store and the italian deli - which wouldn't be so bad if they weren't all located at the furthest corners of the neighborhood. and it's just plain hard to get groceries in the height of a midwestern subzero winter (or even an extra hot and humid summer) with two children.
as a stay at home mom to two children, it's no surprise that i should feel confined to my home. but as a stay at home mom who doesn't drive (literally scared sh*tless to drive & bad eyesight), i'm also confined to the perimeters of our neighborhood (but, i can only visit the same places a few times a week before i start to look like a would be mrs. robinson to all the would be benjamin braddocks' at the local borders bookstore and i can only buy so much yarn and knit a handful of projects before i start to resemble a reluctant bachelorette stereotype...)
so the bottom line is i'm left to rely on others pretty much ALL THE TIME. i have little to no independence of my own. i rely on the thin man or family or friends for errands i cannot complete. if neither the thin man nor i can get groceries, i rely on peapod to deliver. sometimes, we find that we don't have any fixings for a good dinner and so we have to order it up - there are very few restaurants in the neighborhood. and many of them don't deliver. although we have met with pediatricians down here, i make the majority of our ped appts with our northside office (who know our histories) and only on weekends, when the thin man's schedule can accomodate us. occasionally, i rely on neighbors to drive the paloma to school when the weather is too brutal to drag the porkchop out on the walk to and from preschool (twice). any other kind of retail shopping (therapy) or diversionary gallivanting has to be done in a neighboring south suburb or on the north side (which is infinitely prettier) and, if being done with children, needs the use of a car. and have ya seen the dan ryan expressway recently?
realistically, we can't move. we really can't afford to move anywhere else and where else COULD we move? this neighborhood, with its great schools, parks, inexpensive, abundant and architecturally diverse housing, fellow cool & hip transplanted neighbors is really perfect for a young family like ours. i know this intellectually. but emotionally, i am completely torn up about it. i have never in my life felt so useless, so worthless, so powerless... like i so often do now. i worry about how this is affecting my overall mental and physical health, each unique relationship i have - with my husband, my children, my family members and friends...
all of which makes for a very very unhappy, very uncertain mamazilla.
Monday, March 26, 2007
if i were a toy...
i would be "neanderthal woman", part of the prehistoric world of toys from bullyland. how sad is it that i need to schedule a pity date with a warmed bowl of liquid wax, strips of cotton muslin, a shaving razor, fruity shaving foam and some foul smelling chemical depilatory.
and... oh the horror! THE HORROR! *insert crescendo-ing psycho stalking horror flick music here* THE TOENAILS! *shudder*
seriously, it's been a long *ss winter and these last few warm days in chicago have evicted me from my dark, warm, womblike burrow and forced me out of hibernation. but unlike my fellow dormant moms who have now blossomed into a beautiful daffodil or vibrant crocus or graceful lily - i am the fugly, wild, feral weed (as in dandelion, not cannabis) personified.
in the winter, i only have to occasionally think about who is "bra worthy" or "jeans (v. yoga pant) worthy" or "contacts worthy" or even "shower worthy".
horrible i know, but sleep totally trumps every thing in my book - even if it's just an extra five minutes.
and now? now, i have to think about who's "ingrown hair worthy".
i walked out of the house today in sweatpants and a sweatshirt and athletic shoes... and everyone else was walking around in shorts and camis and flip flops - all willy nilly, skippity skip.
wtf?! it's 80 degrees! in march! in chicago! i wanted to b*tch slap the national weather service.
don't get me wrong, i'm SO ready for spring. i'm especially ready for summer. but i'm so not ready for the roving eyes of the hair gestapo.
and another thing, if i was blonde... and latvian... and well, pretty, thin and a shapely C cup - no one would care if i had hairy pits or legs.
and... oh the horror! THE HORROR! *insert crescendo-ing psycho stalking horror flick music here* THE TOENAILS! *shudder*
seriously, it's been a long *ss winter and these last few warm days in chicago have evicted me from my dark, warm, womblike burrow and forced me out of hibernation. but unlike my fellow dormant moms who have now blossomed into a beautiful daffodil or vibrant crocus or graceful lily - i am the fugly, wild, feral weed (as in dandelion, not cannabis) personified.
in the winter, i only have to occasionally think about who is "bra worthy" or "jeans (v. yoga pant) worthy" or "contacts worthy" or even "shower worthy".
horrible i know, but sleep totally trumps every thing in my book - even if it's just an extra five minutes.
and now? now, i have to think about who's "ingrown hair worthy".
i walked out of the house today in sweatpants and a sweatshirt and athletic shoes... and everyone else was walking around in shorts and camis and flip flops - all willy nilly, skippity skip.
wtf?! it's 80 degrees! in march! in chicago! i wanted to b*tch slap the national weather service.
don't get me wrong, i'm SO ready for spring. i'm especially ready for summer. but i'm so not ready for the roving eyes of the hair gestapo.
and another thing, if i was blonde... and latvian... and well, pretty, thin and a shapely C cup - no one would care if i had hairy pits or legs.
Thursday, March 22, 2007
but do we really need another princess?
ok, so we could use a little more diversity amongst the awkward rebellious teenaged disney royalty but another princess?
can't disney animate a few dozen more everyday humdrum girls of color? it sounds like that's what we really need.
and for the record - no, mulan is NOT really a princess - show me where in EITHER mulan film, she magically becomes a princess. she rescues three princesses in that last film. but, c'mon, let's call her what she is, ok? "hun *ss kicker" is NOT a bad title.
however, having a daughter who is princess obsessed i am curious about the new african american disney princess - maddy.
after reading some articles, some things i found interesting:
1) my guess is the film is loosely based on the frog prince fairy tale... probably one of my least favorite fairy tales because the princess is such a spoiled brat and after all her eye rolling and whimpering and complaining she STILL gets the prince. maybe this time around, the dis-enchanted frog, gets a clue and up and walks AWAY from the royal...
2) the film is called "the frog princess" so, does that mean she's the one getting turned into a frog and then kissed? is the debutante (see cast list bbelow) taking over the role of the princess and maddy the chambermaid walking away with the prince? and what's up with all these princesses needing saving anyway....
3) people are assuming her prince is caucasian (see cast list below) let's hope disney thinks outside the box in more ways than one in this instance too... 'cause disney, not all of our good men have to be caucasian, kiss-bestowing, shoe-toting, horse-riding, enchanted princes in shining armor. blah, blah, blah, thank you for
4) i always thought that princess kida from atlantis would be crowned the first aa princess. it seemed like that was what the animators were implying. i believe kida was also voiced by mixed actress, cree summer. i dunno, the atlanteans looked poc to me. and i mean if they can make a mermaid from a danish fairy tale a princess. can't they do the same for an atlantean princess. she wasn't a ball gown wearing princess either. she kicked *ss too.
though i have to admit i wasn't sure how she changed/ lightened her skin color from "atlantis: the lost empire"
to "atlantis: milo's return"
5) lastly, a list of characters... how are they going to steer away from stereotypes in this one?
Maddy - A 19-year-old chambermaid.
Charlotte La Bouff - A 18-year-old spoiled, southern Debutante and Diva.
Dr. Duvalier - An African American Voodoo magician/fortune teller. The villain of the movie.
Mama Odie - An elderly, 200-year-old Voodoo priestess/fairy god-mother.
Ray - A lovesick Cajun firefly.
Louis - A Jazz singer alligator.
Prince Harry - A gregarious, fun-loving European Prince, in his early twenties.
Lawrence - Prince Harry's pompous valet.
Big Daddy La Bouff - Wealthy, Southern plantation landowner and father of Charlotte La Bouff.
Eudora - Maddy's mother. In her fifties. Used to be Charlotte's nurse maid.
George - The La Bouff family's cook.
Little Arila - Maddy's little sister. She's little, but very smart.
Monday, March 19, 2007
Friday, March 09, 2007
new accessories for spring!
first and foremost, i have been in a weird, hormonal "is-this-where-i-wanted-to-be-when-i-turned-35" funk for a while... so, i apologize for the blog pause... :(
i bought these shoes. they've alleviated the funk...
for a little while...
i think.
anyhoo... thanks to bloggo chicago, the zero boss and the "new and improved" blogger.com for introducing me toa whole new kind of substance abuse some of the new blogging accessories (? tools? obsessions? toys?) that you might've noticed lately on *MAMAZILLA*.
via bloggo chicago (VIVA LA DEPENDS PORN!) , i sniffed out cocomment. it makes all my worthless $.02 on all yer comment windows and haloscans... easily tracked and um, worth it. yes, i'm still stalking you. mwahahahahaha!
via zero boss, i got the 411 on mybloglog and google reader. although my(free)bloglog offers a lot of tracking features. i think my (free) sitemeter offers the same tracking features. unlike sitemeter, mybloglog offers up a handy little widget that allows me to put a "face" to a "name". so, even if y'all come by and don't comment i see you and it reminds me stop on by and do a reciprocated drive by on your blog as well.
google reader (pay attention, bloggo chicago) also provides the new widgets that have taken over where my blog links were on the right sidebar over yonder. i always wonder if it looks like i'm not linked to you (and i'm sure you know who you are) anymore. if it does, i apologize. mea culpa! but google reader really does simplify when my blog stalkees are posting new smack. and stalk, stalk, stalk, i must! this by far, is the most addictive of all the blogging toys. i'm constantly adding new blogs to it, only to find myself slackjawed and drooling over how much i have to read after just a day off of reading. IT'S. INSANE. how do you clever, articulate, hilarious, everyday posting bloggers find the time to do it all?!
lastly, i really like the "new and improved" blogger (stfu, haters). in most situations, i'm just a cheapskate and since my employers pay me in dessicated cheerios and sh*tty diapers - i'm also broke. so, for me, blogger is awesome 'cause it's FREE! admittedly, it doesn't have all the bells and whistles of typepad or wordpress, but i'm just a humble destitute mamazilla, not dooce or city mama or motherhood uncensored. besides i have a low tolerance for noise - i send all bells and whistles to lola's (my mom's) house and she puts them in the overflow toy box we have over there.
back to the random things i like about the new blogger:
i can tag my posts
it's super easy to create a new post
it's SUPER DUPER easy to upload images (no more uploading via flickr or picasa)
anyhoo... thanks to bloggo chicago, the zero boss and the "new and improved" blogger.com for introducing me to
via bloggo chicago (VIVA LA DEPENDS PORN!) , i sniffed out cocomment. it makes all my worthless $.02 on all yer comment windows and haloscans... easily tracked and um, worth it. yes, i'm still stalking you. mwahahahahaha!
via zero boss, i got the 411 on mybloglog and google reader. although my(free)bloglog offers a lot of tracking features. i think my (free) sitemeter offers the same tracking features. unlike sitemeter, mybloglog offers up a handy little widget that allows me to put a "face" to a "name". so, even if y'all come by and don't comment i see you and it reminds me stop on by and do a reciprocated drive by on your blog as well.
google reader (pay attention, bloggo chicago) also provides the new widgets that have taken over where my blog links were on the right sidebar over yonder. i always wonder if it looks like i'm not linked to you (and i'm sure you know who you are) anymore. if it does, i apologize. mea culpa! but google reader really does simplify when my blog stalkees are posting new smack. and stalk, stalk, stalk, i must! this by far, is the most addictive of all the blogging toys. i'm constantly adding new blogs to it, only to find myself slackjawed and drooling over how much i have to read after just a day off of reading. IT'S. INSANE. how do you clever, articulate, hilarious, everyday posting bloggers find the time to do it all?!
lastly, i really like the "new and improved" blogger (stfu, haters). in most situations, i'm just a cheapskate and since my employers pay me in dessicated cheerios and sh*tty diapers - i'm also broke. so, for me, blogger is awesome 'cause it's FREE! admittedly, it doesn't have all the bells and whistles of typepad or wordpress, but i'm just a humble destitute mamazilla, not dooce or city mama or motherhood uncensored. besides i have a low tolerance for noise - i send all bells and whistles to lola's (my mom's) house and she puts them in the overflow toy box we have over there.
back to the random things i like about the new blogger:
i can tag my posts
it's super easy to create a new post
it's SUPER DUPER easy to upload images (no more uploading via flickr or picasa)
ok... so, i can only think of three things.... suffice to say, it's not the same old blogger and with all new things bloggish - neither am i! :)
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Saturday, March 03, 2007
happy 4th birthday paloma!
so, i managed to pull a birthday party out of my ghetto *ss. it was no easy nor pretty feat.
normally, i would've planned the whole thing in advance, but the trip to manila took so much advance planning (plane tickets, passports, inoculations, hotel, etc...), i just didn't have time. then, when we got back, the priority was getting re-acclimated to chicago time and weather.
finally, last wednesday, i pulled out my "defeated and exhausted mommy" card and called some neighborhood moms and dads (and my awesome stepsister) and got a few "yeses" to my
on saturday, the thin man and i got the kids up early for a grocery store run and for the most part that went well (unlike the usual screaming and/or wrestling match). we got the cake and most of the other par-tay provisions at the jewel (btw - i heard that that's a chicago thing to name a store with a "the" at the beginning. c'est vrai, chicagoans?).
then, when they went down for their afternoon naps, i sped out to the dollar store for the party favors and another tablecloth (because i had saved the ripped and stained "my little pony" one from last year... 'cause i'm SUCH a cheapskate... and decided at the last minute against using it).
the party favor gods were with me 'cause i scored a mess of random disney princess stuff for the girl goody bags and some random but cool stuff for boy goody bags (i freakin' hate goody bags... i NEVER got goody bags when i went to parties as a kid - ok, maybe i'm jealous). normally, i don't differentiate between boy or girl goody bags, but these parents did come thru on no notice... i wanted them to feel like i made SOME effort... mind you, i'm still jetlagged... i'm still running on fumes and yawning constantly most of the day.
when the paloma woke up from her nap she was over the moon... it was so good to see her so genuinely wholeheartedly happy. she's still jetlagged too and it's disconcerting not to see her chipper, energized paloma-esque self. she and her nine friends had a (2.5 hour) ball. with veggie booty. and goldfish. and pizza. and capri suns. and cake. and lots of tag. and toys. and crying. and screaming. and more toys. and 10 minutes of a dvd. and goody bags.
clean up was strangely easy however. so, you know i'm going to find a piece of cake in a shoe next fall.
that's ok... that smile is worth it. :)
Thursday, March 01, 2007
holy f*cking hell.
the latest of what passes for humor on myspace:
"One part Pee Wee's Playhouse, one part crazy, unpredictable Japanese talk show, and one part whole milk. Mix and serve chilled. Written by Kim Evey and directed by Greg Benson. More episodes to come (if this one gets a good response), just ADD ME to catch future episodes! May not be suitable for children. Or adults."
Gorgeous Tiny Chicken Machine Show (Episode 1)
Add to My Profile More Videos
and here's some of the intelligent commentary from the myspace masses:
"...i'm with the general population of proud fatass americans when i say that intellect, creativity, normality, trend and talent, and pretty much the value of human life is completely contingent on how well one speaks english. and how white they are..."
"this is shit. real japanese tv rules, you've totally missed the point. i understand that this is a joke but the name sux and there was no food. EAT SOME WIERD SHIT, THAT'S WHAT JAPANESE TV IS ALL ABOUT!!! That and cute swimsuit models (also missing). "
"GOD DAMN asians get weirder and weirder everyday"
"wow im not suppost to watch this happy stuff buut i couldent risist and now im regeting me doing this that song was just scary but uhh none the less that was a good video uhhh ASIANS ARE WEIRD!!!!! "
"ENGRISH LOL JAPS LOL where did i put my chopsticks and buckteeth?"
"Can i slap the crazy stupid asian bitch LICK POOP hahahaha"
"Hahaha! I love it! And to whomever is saying it's racist, I don't think being able to poke fun at your own race is "racist". :P More, please! 321go!"
" It doesn't matter if her accent isn't right on or not, she is still asian DUHHH! Ha, I want those bubble chairs. "
the majority of the comments are congratulatory and complimentary towards the filmmakers... then, of course, there are all the comments about how HOT HOT HOT the japanese girl is and how much they want to take her home and love her long time.
what's unbelieveable to me is that kim evey, AN ASIAN WOMAN, is the creator/writer of the skit.
way to perpetuate the stereotyping of your fellow asian women! see, it's because of crap like this that i don't get angry when asian people call me a sellout or a race traitor. because sellouts and the race traitors exist and some of them are just outright ignorant.
i want to believe that common sense would prevail and that an asian woman would see how the rest of non-asian america, as well as asian americans, would process a parody film like this. because of films and characters like these, asian women (in america) will always be the exotic, foreign, disposable, comical, sex object.
while i was travelling to the philippines, it was so refreshing to see asian women in all kinds of advertising. in the airplane seat pockets, you could find us pictured in the airplane safety pamphlet, the entertainment and lifestyle magazines - we were represented as career women, mothers, students, etc... when we landed in seoul, i noticed the same thing on the terminal billboards and on the televisions at the gates. and in the philippines, even in the former red light districts, there were enormous ads featuring filipino moms serving liquid vitamins to their kids.
consequently, because kim evey is married to a caucasian and perpetuating sterotypes, the rest of us, asian women, who are also married to caucasians (or those who pass), regardless of how socially aware, ethnically proud or actively outspoken, will have to pay for it at the hands of other seriously pissed off, misunderstood, hurt and righteously angry asian people.
aren't there enough REAL japanese tv shows on youtube or google video to share and watch?
and is this film the kind of baggage we want to unload on the younger generations of asian women (american born and immigrant alike) who are soon to follow us?
"One part Pee Wee's Playhouse, one part crazy, unpredictable Japanese talk show, and one part whole milk. Mix and serve chilled. Written by Kim Evey and directed by Greg Benson. More episodes to come (if this one gets a good response), just ADD ME to catch future episodes! May not be suitable for children. Or adults."
Gorgeous Tiny Chicken Machine Show (Episode 1)
Add to My Profile More Videos
and here's some of the intelligent commentary from the myspace masses:
"...i'm with the general population of proud fatass americans when i say that intellect, creativity, normality, trend and talent, and pretty much the value of human life is completely contingent on how well one speaks english. and how white they are..."
"this is shit. real japanese tv rules, you've totally missed the point. i understand that this is a joke but the name sux and there was no food. EAT SOME WIERD SHIT, THAT'S WHAT JAPANESE TV IS ALL ABOUT!!! That and cute swimsuit models (also missing). "
"GOD DAMN asians get weirder and weirder everyday"
"wow im not suppost to watch this happy stuff buut i couldent risist and now im regeting me doing this that song was just scary but uhh none the less that was a good video uhhh ASIANS ARE WEIRD!!!!! "
"ENGRISH LOL JAPS LOL where did i put my chopsticks and buckteeth?"
"Can i slap the crazy stupid asian bitch LICK POOP hahahaha"
"Hahaha! I love it! And to whomever is saying it's racist, I don't think being able to poke fun at your own race is "racist". :P More, please! 321go!"
" It doesn't matter if her accent isn't right on or not, she is still asian DUHHH! Ha, I want those bubble chairs. "
the majority of the comments are congratulatory and complimentary towards the filmmakers... then, of course, there are all the comments about how HOT HOT HOT the japanese girl is and how much they want to take her home and love her long time.
what's unbelieveable to me is that kim evey, AN ASIAN WOMAN, is the creator/writer of the skit.
way to perpetuate the stereotyping of your fellow asian women! see, it's because of crap like this that i don't get angry when asian people call me a sellout or a race traitor. because sellouts and the race traitors exist and some of them are just outright ignorant.
i want to believe that common sense would prevail and that an asian woman would see how the rest of non-asian america, as well as asian americans, would process a parody film like this. because of films and characters like these, asian women (in america) will always be the exotic, foreign, disposable, comical, sex object.
while i was travelling to the philippines, it was so refreshing to see asian women in all kinds of advertising. in the airplane seat pockets, you could find us pictured in the airplane safety pamphlet, the entertainment and lifestyle magazines - we were represented as career women, mothers, students, etc... when we landed in seoul, i noticed the same thing on the terminal billboards and on the televisions at the gates. and in the philippines, even in the former red light districts, there were enormous ads featuring filipino moms serving liquid vitamins to their kids.
consequently, because kim evey is married to a caucasian and perpetuating sterotypes, the rest of us, asian women, who are also married to caucasians (or those who pass), regardless of how socially aware, ethnically proud or actively outspoken, will have to pay for it at the hands of other seriously pissed off, misunderstood, hurt and righteously angry asian people.
aren't there enough REAL japanese tv shows on youtube or google video to share and watch?
and is this film the kind of baggage we want to unload on the younger generations of asian women (american born and immigrant alike) who are soon to follow us?
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
chicago filipino news & events
1) ROCK, SHOCK AND AWE!
Ruckus Productions in cooperation with the Center for Immigrant Resources and Community Arts (CIRCA) presents...
Bamboo and Parokya ni Edgar in Chicago...
Park West Theater; 322 W. Armitage Ave., Chicago, IL 60614
Friday, March 23, 2007
Ticket price: $60
People Power Special: $45 if you purchase by February 23.
For more info about the pre-sale: Contacts: je.ruckus@gmail.com or anna.ruckus@gmail.com
Doors open at 7 p.m.
2) Truman Int'l Week
At Truman College, we are celebrating International Week on April 16-20 of this year. I have suggested displaying works of artists from the different cultures that are represented at Truman (e.g., films, paintings, sculptures, etc). Would you be able to help us with the resources that are available to you? If you are aware of groups from other cultures, kindly provide me with their contact information. While we are working with the different student groups in the college, we believe it is also important to involve the communities from where our students come from.
Let me know if you are interested in participating and, if so, what particular arrangements we need to consider to make your participation successful.
Thanks.
Raymund C. Torralba, PhD
Assistant Professor of Chemistry
Physical Science and Engineering
Harry S Truman College
1145 W Wilson Ave
Chicago IL 60640
Tel (773) 907-4076
3) Chef Jennifer Aranas of Rambutan is publishing a new cookbook called "The Filipino American Cookbook".
read more about jennifer and her new book here.
4) Asian American Interview Respondents Needed
My name is Rosalind Chou and I am a sociology graduate student at Texas A&M doing in-depth interviews about the life experiences of Asian Americans. I have conducted 36 interviews thus far and am particularly seeking out Asian Americans of Filipino, Japanese, Malaysian, Cambodian, Sri Lankan, Laotian, Indonesian, or Thai descent. I have already conducted several interviews with Chinese, Taiwanese, Korean, Asian Indian, Hmong, and Pakistani Americans and still welcome more involvement from these ethnic groups.
I am actively seeking out male participants first because my sample is discporportionately female, but female participants are welcomed as well. I will conduct the interview over the phone, and the questions surround all aspects of life, growing up Asian in America.
Dr. Joe R. Feagin is my graduate advisor. If you are not familiar with his work, you can google him and may find information about him. He has written almost fifty books and several hundred articles about race and ethnicity. Asian Americans have not yet been the focus of any of his work, but I am hoping to fill in some gaps.
Interviews usually last anywhere from 45 minutes to 2 hours. If you would like to participate, please contact me at rchou@tamu.edu
Thank you very much
5) Bring books to communities in the Philippines
Read-To Grow Program
Our vision is: To reach out to just one child at a time. Can you imagine the effect if we teach a child to read? We have reached out to a family. This creates a ripple effect. We believe that literacy gives a child to drink, imparts knowledge to eliminate disease, and develops self-esteem in a child.
Our Mission: Partnering with OMF Lit, communities in the Philippines and friends in the US to help start reading centers among Filipino children in urban poor communities.
Become a Sponsor 1. Donor identifies a church, school or community 2. Donor provides one time gift of $200.00 3. MEANS process application and place the order to OMF Lit 4. OMF delivers books to the reading center 5. MEANS sends an update report to donor
To know more about our project, please visit us at:
www.meanssupport.org
www.meansusa.org
6) Digitally Entwined
"A collection of photographs from 15 chicago artists brought together through flickr" - one of the artists is filipino photographer, Ken Ilio.
Acme Gallery on N. Western Ave. in Chicago from March 2 - 10, 2007.
Monday, February 26, 2007
the first few days...
i wasn't really sure what, if anything, we were going to be able to do the first full day we were in manila. although the paloma was recovering, i didn't want to push our luck or her health. my older sister, mrs. f, came over with her husband, mr. f and my youngest sister, soon to be mrs. s, in the afternoon to check on her.
the paloma was eager to get outside. come to think of it, so was i. as i mentioned before, manila was warm - sunny, not too humid and in the mid 80s every day we were there. the paloma's got horses on the brain too and near our hotel, kalesas (the filipino version of the handsome cab) were parked one after the other. she wanted to meet every single horse and find out their names. and that view of manila bay from our window was too inticing to ignore.
we agreed that we should take it easy on the paloma and maybe just get a bite to eat and walk around a nearby airconditioned mall to kill some time and help the paloma run off some energy.
my sisters thought that we should hit the mall of asia. since it's the largest mall in the philippines, it has a pretty diverse selection of restaurants and shops and random diversions for kids. i was shocked at the sheer size of it. we weren't looking to walk the whole mall. but even what little we did see was overwhelming and overstimulating - hello!? they had great shops like mango, marks & spencer, national bookstore (where i scored a bunch of adarna house books for the kids) and kultura filipino and the currency conversion was something crazy like 48 pesos to $1!!??
we ate at the yellow cab pizza co. my sisters couldn't believe that it wasn't a chain from the US. i was kinda surprised myself. i was expecting some kind of city-fied shakey's but it was better - gastronomically and esthetically.
here's a picture of mrs. f, me , soon to be mrs. s and the paloma... this was taken after a hearty lunch and a couple of spins on the indoor carousel. btw - this mall also has an olympic sized ice rink in it. then, home again, home again, jiggety jig.... later that evening, i got to meet one of my cousins, mrs j. and her husband, mr. j.
mrs. j is my lolo and lola's first grandchild. she's not that much younger than my youngest aunt on my mom's side (my mom has twelve siblings). the family was a little freaked out by her because my uncle and her mom split up when she was very young. then, after the family tracked her down again, via a detective, she ended up getting pregnant before marriage. blah, blah, blah... they ended up getting married after she had their first child and they had a second child a few years later. the kids are teenagers and she seems like a happy career mom. i can't believe this is the first time i've met her... she's so awesome. she's funny, irreverent, intelligent, spirited and very giving.
the following day, soon to be mr. and mrs. s picked us up tochauffeur spend the day with us. we visited their reception site, villa immaculada inside the walls of intramuros (the oldest part of manila), to tie up some loose ends, drop stuff off, etc... then, we headed over to fort santiago for some sightseeing.
fort santiago is an old spanish fortress within intramuros. it houses the jose rizal shrine.
the paloma gets to ride a kalesa for the first time. the driver was really nice and let her sit on his horse, "pretty boy", for a photo op.
there's a picturesque lily pond underneath the bridge that leads you into fort santiago.
this is the building where jose rizal was imprisioned. his cell was located in the damaged part of the building. there is a mock up of his cell with quotes from his writings on the surrounding walls. it's a very moving tribute. the museum houses many of rizal's personal affects as well as a reliquary that holds one of rizal's bones.
these footsteps mark rizal's final walk to luneta park. it looks as if the steps end just outside the fort, but it's just that some of the footsteps have been paved over... if you keep looking you'll find they'll lead you all the way to where he was executed.
here's a view from inside the gates of the park outside fort santiago. i just loved the wrought iron, the church (?) dome and the filipino flag...
later in the day, my sister checked into our hotel for the night to get ready for the wedding the next day. everything seemed to be going well until my mom got upset that her name was printed incorrectly in the wedding invitation. she got even more upset when she found out that she had to sit next to my father at the reception. she was offended and upset because she felt she and her second marriage were being disrepected.
i knew that situations like this would arise, but i didn't realize how volatile they would be. my mom refused to talk it out with my sister. she just couldn't keep her emotions in check - which i totally understood intellectually. she was threatening to not smile, not talk, just show up and go home. she wasn't willing to compromise. but, i couldn't side with her. it just wasn't her day. it wasn't about her. i really felt that she had a responsibility, obligation or duty to my sister to let the animosity (for my father and for the hypocrisy of the philippines) go for one day.
i talked to my sister and she started to cry which made me cry. she opened up about how stressful the wedding planning had been. how often she felt she had to compromise. how awful it felt all these years to defend her upbringing in a "broken" family. she just didn't want to do it again on her wedding day. i knew that that was what the invitation and the seating arrangement was about. i didn't think it was right that my sister just slip it all under my mom's radar, but i understood why she did it. it was then that she told me that we have a half sister. basically, everyone knows she exists, but no one knows where she is. my sister thinks she's about sixteen. she saw her when she was little. she doesn't know her name. my heart just about broke... for my crazy family, for my father, for my unknown sister...
so, after i calmed her down a bit, i went back to talk to my mom who ended up crying as well... she kept saying things like "i made all the wrong choices.", "i ruined my life and the lives of my children", "i hate myself", etc, etc... it was awful... i asked her if she knew about my half sister. she said she did, but she felt it was my father's job to tell me about her. i did and said everything i could to try to salvage that day... in the end, my mom was inconsolable. my mom is strong though. she would get thru it somehow... and she did.
that evening we were expecting to have dinner with my dad's sisters. but, those plans fell thru. they came over but too late to have dinner. honestly, at that point, we'd all lost our appetites. i just wanted to sleep it all off and forget. just start all over again. just one of those times, i wish life had a "refresh" button.
the paloma was eager to get outside. come to think of it, so was i. as i mentioned before, manila was warm - sunny, not too humid and in the mid 80s every day we were there. the paloma's got horses on the brain too and near our hotel, kalesas (the filipino version of the handsome cab) were parked one after the other. she wanted to meet every single horse and find out their names. and that view of manila bay from our window was too inticing to ignore.
we agreed that we should take it easy on the paloma and maybe just get a bite to eat and walk around a nearby airconditioned mall to kill some time and help the paloma run off some energy.
my sisters thought that we should hit the mall of asia. since it's the largest mall in the philippines, it has a pretty diverse selection of restaurants and shops and random diversions for kids. i was shocked at the sheer size of it. we weren't looking to walk the whole mall. but even what little we did see was overwhelming and overstimulating - hello!? they had great shops like mango, marks & spencer, national bookstore (where i scored a bunch of adarna house books for the kids) and kultura filipino and the currency conversion was something crazy like 48 pesos to $1!!??
we ate at the yellow cab pizza co. my sisters couldn't believe that it wasn't a chain from the US. i was kinda surprised myself. i was expecting some kind of city-fied shakey's but it was better - gastronomically and esthetically.
here's a picture of mrs. f, me , soon to be mrs. s and the paloma... this was taken after a hearty lunch and a couple of spins on the indoor carousel. btw - this mall also has an olympic sized ice rink in it. then, home again, home again, jiggety jig.... later that evening, i got to meet one of my cousins, mrs j. and her husband, mr. j.
mrs. j is my lolo and lola's first grandchild. she's not that much younger than my youngest aunt on my mom's side (my mom has twelve siblings). the family was a little freaked out by her because my uncle and her mom split up when she was very young. then, after the family tracked her down again, via a detective, she ended up getting pregnant before marriage. blah, blah, blah... they ended up getting married after she had their first child and they had a second child a few years later. the kids are teenagers and she seems like a happy career mom. i can't believe this is the first time i've met her... she's so awesome. she's funny, irreverent, intelligent, spirited and very giving.
the following day, soon to be mr. and mrs. s picked us up to
fort santiago is an old spanish fortress within intramuros. it houses the jose rizal shrine.
the paloma gets to ride a kalesa for the first time. the driver was really nice and let her sit on his horse, "pretty boy", for a photo op.
there's a picturesque lily pond underneath the bridge that leads you into fort santiago.
this is the building where jose rizal was imprisioned. his cell was located in the damaged part of the building. there is a mock up of his cell with quotes from his writings on the surrounding walls. it's a very moving tribute. the museum houses many of rizal's personal affects as well as a reliquary that holds one of rizal's bones.
these footsteps mark rizal's final walk to luneta park. it looks as if the steps end just outside the fort, but it's just that some of the footsteps have been paved over... if you keep looking you'll find they'll lead you all the way to where he was executed.
here's a view from inside the gates of the park outside fort santiago. i just loved the wrought iron, the church (?) dome and the filipino flag...
later in the day, my sister checked into our hotel for the night to get ready for the wedding the next day. everything seemed to be going well until my mom got upset that her name was printed incorrectly in the wedding invitation. she got even more upset when she found out that she had to sit next to my father at the reception. she was offended and upset because she felt she and her second marriage were being disrepected.
i knew that situations like this would arise, but i didn't realize how volatile they would be. my mom refused to talk it out with my sister. she just couldn't keep her emotions in check - which i totally understood intellectually. she was threatening to not smile, not talk, just show up and go home. she wasn't willing to compromise. but, i couldn't side with her. it just wasn't her day. it wasn't about her. i really felt that she had a responsibility, obligation or duty to my sister to let the animosity (for my father and for the hypocrisy of the philippines) go for one day.
i talked to my sister and she started to cry which made me cry. she opened up about how stressful the wedding planning had been. how often she felt she had to compromise. how awful it felt all these years to defend her upbringing in a "broken" family. she just didn't want to do it again on her wedding day. i knew that that was what the invitation and the seating arrangement was about. i didn't think it was right that my sister just slip it all under my mom's radar, but i understood why she did it. it was then that she told me that we have a half sister. basically, everyone knows she exists, but no one knows where she is. my sister thinks she's about sixteen. she saw her when she was little. she doesn't know her name. my heart just about broke... for my crazy family, for my father, for my unknown sister...
so, after i calmed her down a bit, i went back to talk to my mom who ended up crying as well... she kept saying things like "i made all the wrong choices.", "i ruined my life and the lives of my children", "i hate myself", etc, etc... it was awful... i asked her if she knew about my half sister. she said she did, but she felt it was my father's job to tell me about her. i did and said everything i could to try to salvage that day... in the end, my mom was inconsolable. my mom is strong though. she would get thru it somehow... and she did.
that evening we were expecting to have dinner with my dad's sisters. but, those plans fell thru. they came over but too late to have dinner. honestly, at that point, we'd all lost our appetites. i just wanted to sleep it all off and forget. just start all over again. just one of those times, i wish life had a "refresh" button.
Saturday, February 24, 2007
getting there...
i guess the trip started when the paloma and i piled into my brothers car and we headed off to the airport. it was about 9:30 pm. i was really hesitant to leave. the paloma and i had come down with some pretty bad colds three days beforehand. i was doing ok. she sounded like she was getting better, but her cough was pretty bad - bad enough that it sometimes made her gag.
we managed to check in without any hitches. i was worried about security confiscating all of our cold medicines since they were all over the 3 oz limit, but they let everything through. the gate was further than i thought and the paloma was really tired so, i had to carry her part of the way - not easy, since i had to carry her carry on and mine - the laptop. at one point, she thought she was going to hurl which upped my stress level to "potential aneurysm".
i had hoped that she would sleep on the first 13 hour leg of the trip. but that just didn't happen. she was too excited, too sick and too tired. and she wouldn't eat. i gave her medicine anyway (i realize now that i shouldn't have) to help with her cough and the pressure on her ears... to no avail. she was miserable. i was miserable. i felt like the worst mom on the planet. (i still do.)
the interesting thing was that although the paloma was having a hard time. the other passengers on the plane seemed pretty cool about it. earlier in the day, i had talked to someone on the urbanbaby message boards about possibly cancelling the trip and worried about the possibility of getting kicked off the plane in seoul because of her throwing a tantrum. the poster replied, "if you were getting on a domestic flight, i would be worried about that too. but you're getting on an international flight to asia. in my experience, the flight attendants and the passengers on those flights are so kid friendly. you'll both be fine. don't cancel. just go." that poster was right. i never felt like i was getting the stink eye from anyone. i was able to focus on the paloma, her fever and her cough and not the wrath of my fellow travellers.
by the way, we flew via asiana airlines. it was a great flight. and by far the least expensive and most direct way to go. they even had toys and puzzles for the kids. the food was good. i finally got to try korean food other than korean barbeque. my first meal was bi bim bap which was YUM-MEE! however, i passed on the hot pepper paste cause that looked lethal. i don't remember what my second meal was called but that was tasty too. it was mystery beef in a mystery sauce.
in addition to the safety info film, they show another film about pressure points you can massage to alleviate nausea, earache, headache, deep vein thrombosis, etc... and they show another film showing excercises you can do in your seat. it was really cool. and i gotta say, the flight attendants were HAWT. can't wait to fly via asiana again.
this pic was taken on the flight from seoul to manila. thankfully, this leg of the flight was shorter - 4 hours ish... and the plane was pretty empty. we all got to stretch out and finally get some sleep. the paloma finally has a smile on her face... it didn't last long. she got her first nosebleed right after this was taken.
we finally land in manila. it's about 80 degrees out. we got thru most of the airport without much trouble from the hawkers looking to get tips from us for "helping" us out. it wasn't until we got to baggage claim where we got jacked into renting a luggage cart and a luggage cart dude. i think we were just too tired to say no at that point. he didn't do a thing. i found all of our luggage and put it on the cart. he just stood there waiting for payment. all we had was US$ too but he was happy to take the $5. we sailed thru immigration and customs too - which was really surprising. we used to bring cigs and chocolate specifically for those people so that they'd let us go. the woman who we saw, glanced at our passports briefly and said, "please go ahead. happy valentines day."
when we finallly got outside the airport and found my sister and my papa and my soon to be bro in law. my papa couldn't stop crying and hugging us and saying, "my daughter!" and "my granddaughter!" which of course got me all kinds of speechless and emotional...
i brought along our portable carseat which is really nothing but a board with a five point harness attached to it. it amazes me that carseats aren't even a blip on the radar in the philippines considering how aggressive the drivers are there and how bad the traffic is... my family didn't once consider that i wanted to use the car seat. any car we got into was always packed two people than the seating allowed. the paloma was usually on someone's lap. i rarely got to use the carseat. it was so hard to just let go.
we finally got to the diamond hotel. i managed to forget our printed hotel voucher back home, so i had to use their business center to open the email again. thank goodness we got there in the afternoon when it was open. the hotel is a beautiful luxury hotel located on manila bay. it was a good location, located midway between my sister's wedding and the reception site.
usually, i would stay with my family in the house in cubao. but, i was worried about my mom and my papa not getting along (which proved true when they saw each other at the airport). it was also going to be a full house with my older sister staying there with her newborn, her husband and her mother in law. and i was really worried about the paloma not acclimating to the heat, the bugs, the environment, etc... anyhoo, i booked our stay via hoteltravel.com so we got a really - and i mean REALLY - cheap rate. our room was less than $100 a night via hoteltravel.
once we got into the room, the paloma got worse and worse... her fever spiked again and that's when she finally tossed her cookies all over the bed. what scared me was that she'd gotten another nosebleed and there was blood in her vomit. rick, my brother in law, is also a doctor. he was the voice of reason and calmed me down. i was FREAKING out. he suggested we just let her rest - no meds necessary, just a cool compress.
i called my sister (another doctor) to get a second opinion and she agreed. so, the paloma slept for about 10 hours. when she woke up she thought she could keep down some soup and some bread. she did. in the am, my sister came over with some "gentler" meds - fever reducer, decongestant and some liquid vitamin c. the paloma was doing much better. she was regaining her sense of humor and her cheery disposition. see below:
breakfast at the palm court restaurant. the wall of windows looks out onto a giant waterfall and the hotel's two pools.
the view from our room of manila bay in the wee small hours of the morning...
the view of popular mabini street (i think?) . that's the hyatt on the far right. the hotel i wanted to stay at but there were no vacancies...
the paloma resting in our room. for some reason, the beds had down comforters. we either slept on top of the comforters or jacked up the ac in the room... who in their right mind thought of down comforters in manila!?
we managed to check in without any hitches. i was worried about security confiscating all of our cold medicines since they were all over the 3 oz limit, but they let everything through. the gate was further than i thought and the paloma was really tired so, i had to carry her part of the way - not easy, since i had to carry her carry on and mine - the laptop. at one point, she thought she was going to hurl which upped my stress level to "potential aneurysm".
i had hoped that she would sleep on the first 13 hour leg of the trip. but that just didn't happen. she was too excited, too sick and too tired. and she wouldn't eat. i gave her medicine anyway (i realize now that i shouldn't have) to help with her cough and the pressure on her ears... to no avail. she was miserable. i was miserable. i felt like the worst mom on the planet. (i still do.)
the interesting thing was that although the paloma was having a hard time. the other passengers on the plane seemed pretty cool about it. earlier in the day, i had talked to someone on the urbanbaby message boards about possibly cancelling the trip and worried about the possibility of getting kicked off the plane in seoul because of her throwing a tantrum. the poster replied, "if you were getting on a domestic flight, i would be worried about that too. but you're getting on an international flight to asia. in my experience, the flight attendants and the passengers on those flights are so kid friendly. you'll both be fine. don't cancel. just go." that poster was right. i never felt like i was getting the stink eye from anyone. i was able to focus on the paloma, her fever and her cough and not the wrath of my fellow travellers.
by the way, we flew via asiana airlines. it was a great flight. and by far the least expensive and most direct way to go. they even had toys and puzzles for the kids. the food was good. i finally got to try korean food other than korean barbeque. my first meal was bi bim bap which was YUM-MEE! however, i passed on the hot pepper paste cause that looked lethal. i don't remember what my second meal was called but that was tasty too. it was mystery beef in a mystery sauce.
in addition to the safety info film, they show another film about pressure points you can massage to alleviate nausea, earache, headache, deep vein thrombosis, etc... and they show another film showing excercises you can do in your seat. it was really cool. and i gotta say, the flight attendants were HAWT. can't wait to fly via asiana again.
this pic was taken on the flight from seoul to manila. thankfully, this leg of the flight was shorter - 4 hours ish... and the plane was pretty empty. we all got to stretch out and finally get some sleep. the paloma finally has a smile on her face... it didn't last long. she got her first nosebleed right after this was taken.
we finally land in manila. it's about 80 degrees out. we got thru most of the airport without much trouble from the hawkers looking to get tips from us for "helping" us out. it wasn't until we got to baggage claim where we got jacked into renting a luggage cart and a luggage cart dude. i think we were just too tired to say no at that point. he didn't do a thing. i found all of our luggage and put it on the cart. he just stood there waiting for payment. all we had was US$ too but he was happy to take the $5. we sailed thru immigration and customs too - which was really surprising. we used to bring cigs and chocolate specifically for those people so that they'd let us go. the woman who we saw, glanced at our passports briefly and said, "please go ahead. happy valentines day."
when we finallly got outside the airport and found my sister and my papa and my soon to be bro in law. my papa couldn't stop crying and hugging us and saying, "my daughter!" and "my granddaughter!" which of course got me all kinds of speechless and emotional...
i brought along our portable carseat which is really nothing but a board with a five point harness attached to it. it amazes me that carseats aren't even a blip on the radar in the philippines considering how aggressive the drivers are there and how bad the traffic is... my family didn't once consider that i wanted to use the car seat. any car we got into was always packed two people than the seating allowed. the paloma was usually on someone's lap. i rarely got to use the carseat. it was so hard to just let go.
we finally got to the diamond hotel. i managed to forget our printed hotel voucher back home, so i had to use their business center to open the email again. thank goodness we got there in the afternoon when it was open. the hotel is a beautiful luxury hotel located on manila bay. it was a good location, located midway between my sister's wedding and the reception site.
usually, i would stay with my family in the house in cubao. but, i was worried about my mom and my papa not getting along (which proved true when they saw each other at the airport). it was also going to be a full house with my older sister staying there with her newborn, her husband and her mother in law. and i was really worried about the paloma not acclimating to the heat, the bugs, the environment, etc... anyhoo, i booked our stay via hoteltravel.com so we got a really - and i mean REALLY - cheap rate. our room was less than $100 a night via hoteltravel.
once we got into the room, the paloma got worse and worse... her fever spiked again and that's when she finally tossed her cookies all over the bed. what scared me was that she'd gotten another nosebleed and there was blood in her vomit. rick, my brother in law, is also a doctor. he was the voice of reason and calmed me down. i was FREAKING out. he suggested we just let her rest - no meds necessary, just a cool compress.
i called my sister (another doctor) to get a second opinion and she agreed. so, the paloma slept for about 10 hours. when she woke up she thought she could keep down some soup and some bread. she did. in the am, my sister came over with some "gentler" meds - fever reducer, decongestant and some liquid vitamin c. the paloma was doing much better. she was regaining her sense of humor and her cheery disposition. see below:
breakfast at the palm court restaurant. the wall of windows looks out onto a giant waterfall and the hotel's two pools.
the view from our room of manila bay in the wee small hours of the morning...
the view of popular mabini street (i think?) . that's the hyatt on the far right. the hotel i wanted to stay at but there were no vacancies...
the paloma resting in our room. for some reason, the beds had down comforters. we either slept on top of the comforters or jacked up the ac in the room... who in their right mind thought of down comforters in manila!?
Thursday, February 22, 2007
we're back!
we arrived around 5 pm last night... of course, the paloma and i are jetlagged.
it's 5 am now and she's watching boobahs on sprout and i'm contemplating bludgeoning my head in with something heavy and blunt if the advil doesn't kick in soon.
i'm so glad to be home. being reunited with the thin man and the pork chop is wonderful. but i must admit i'm not looking forward to a full energized day with the porkchop who should be up in about an hour - probably less. hopefully, the paloma will go to bed around 8ish for her full 10 hours sleep - manila time.
i can't believe how cold it is here... i was just in a sleeveless tee, turning up the the ac... by far, the rudest awakening....
i hope to return to regular posting soon with some stories and pics of manila...
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