cookie monster? chicagoland resident...

warning - you may want to shoo your sesame street fanatics outta the room...

ok. are they gone?

i just don't want to burst any "big-bird-is-real" bubbles. (well, of COURSE, big bird is real, sweetie!!!)

i should preface this by saying - i am a HUGE sesame street fan. well, more muppet show than sesame street, but you know what i mean... so, i was recently informed that a friend of mine is friends with a sesame street muppeteer. AND not only, does she KNOW a muppeteer. she was allowed BEHIND the scenes at sesame street during a recent visit to nyc. (you suck, meemers - but thanks for my hot (as in, stolen) bowling shoes.) she actually got to meet many of the voices behind the muppets including the voice of elmo, kevin clash (who also did the voice for baby sinclair on the 80s prime time show, "dinosaurs").

this encouraged me to google sesame street in hopes of finding my own way into "the inner sanctum" (lotta good that did me - nada, zip, zilch, gornischt). anyway, i came upon an intesting factoid...

cookie monster is an illinois resident! :) *doing the roger rabbit* that's right! we have john cusack, oprah AND cookie monster. CHICAGO ROCKS! nee nar nee nar nee nar....

anyway, listen to the chicago public radio interview with david rudman here . david rudman is also the voice of baby bear and strangely, the fingerman from the ziploc bag commercials. don't remember that guy? count yourself in the "haves".

in conclusion, a) i have to somehow beg, cheat or steal my way into sesame street. and b) i have GOT to see that show avenue q on broadway. (the story (told with puppets and former/current muppeteers!!!) of a nyc newbie, his hood - avenue q - and its eclectic collection of neighbors, including gary coleman as the bldgs super.) the reviews have been great, not to mention the nod (three tony awards, including best musical) from the theatre community. c) i have to get off my *ss & rescue my daughter from the foreign madness that is lazy town.

nigella, so close and yet so far...

years ago, i actually took cooking lessons - really expensive, intensive, you-might-as-well-be-attending-culinary-school-with-the-amount-of-time-&-money-you're-spending-on-a-few-weeks-of-lessons - from Tante Marie in san francisco. if you're looking for basic cooking lessons - i highly recommend this school and its classes.

anywho... of the many things i gleaned (i love that word) from my steamy, spicey, aromatic time at the cooking class - the rejuvenating quality of lemongrass soup , sell your organs for a set of good knives, honey + bourbon + carrots = yum! - i was introduced to the recipes of Nigella Lawson.

she truly is the domestic goddess i wants ta be when i grows up and grows up and grows up. and if i were a guy, i wouldn't kick her outta bed either. it's very complex, my love for nigella, who just happens to be on a book tour and just happenned to visit this midwestern hamlet this past weekend... *sigh*

i patiently waited a full hour (just an hour?) for nigella. in that hour, i moved five feet - MAYBE. (the above pic was taken on the sly, as close as i could get without getting hauled away and with a zoom lens) but her new book, which i shoulda bought (but i could not stand in another line!), Feast, is filled with her wonderful comforting recipes dressed in her comedy and wit. i do have her earlier book, How To Eat, which is underlined, dogeared, stained with soy sauce and oily now. i have yet to attempt her "white-trash (how un-PC!) lunch for 6" which includes ham in coca-cola, parsley potatoes, snow peas and young peas and cherry pie. but, the easy peasy carbonara recipe is awesome!

anyway, nigella, wherever you are, you truly inspire me, but there was no way i was missing a dinner at NoMi - even for you. stalking will resume from afar....

four words.

the amazing race six

if you haven't seen this show. you have got to watch it tonight! tivo, if you must! it's a two hour season premiere. this is the best reality show on TV. i don't watch reality show really, but this one hooked me from season one. for you TAR fans - did you guys hear that old teams would be running commentary this season? i don't know how i feel about flo's whine echoing thru my house.

>:(

oh yeah, i've heard a rumor that TAR6 actually started here in chicago. i can't believe i missed them!!!!

...i am yarn-less...

and so begins another quest for another creative process... anyone got a writing excercise just lying around?

i've seen one circulating on the blogs - something about grabbing a book and opening to page 23 and quoting the fifth sentence. hello, john irving. hello, john wheelwright.

"It was a stone church, and there was a ground floor or even underground mustiness to the place, which was overcrowded with dark wood bric-a-brac, somber with dull organ pipes, garish with confused configurations of stained glass - through which not a single branch of tree was visible." (ok, so that was the sixth sentence. the fifth sentence smelled like feet and *ss. )

i saw another one on the Ellis Paul discussion forum that looked interesting:

1) Name your character-- Do you use the real name, just their first name, or something suggestive that perhaps adds some anonymity, or color to the story... Your choice, but be careful, you don't want someone to get mad at you...

2) Describe five items in the persons bedroom. what do these items tell you about the character? How old is the character? what does he like to do? How does he live?

3) The Character looks into a mirror, what does he see? name five things... what do these things show us about the character? how does he take care of his appearance. Is he proud of himself? Shy? Disappointed? Where is his ego?

4) Assign the character two colors... colors literally paint a scene or a person... you might only use a color in passing, but it helps create mood and understanding. what do these suggest?

5) assign the character a non human twin... this creates a metaphor, for the person-- solid as an oak tree-- wise as an owl... that type of thing-- don't be afraid of feeling like you are reaching when writing this one down, you can disguise and smarten it up when you frame it in a sentence or song lyric... so it looks less like Disney when it's edited...

6) Give your character a voice-- what does he sound like-- what might he say? what does this reveal about your character?

ok, so that's a start - in the meantime, i really am looking for plus d'excercises d'écriture.

so, share the wealth already.

thank you for reading my blog, all of you anonymous blog explosion readers!

i really just wanted to say thank you - i appreciate you taking the time (personally, i can do many things in 30 sec - due to a program that auto-installs when you have a child) to stop and read my pointless, misspelled & grammatically challenged blather...

i'm new to the blog phenomena, blogger and especially new to blog explosion and it's sparkle*y accessories. i just noticed (when i clicked on basically everything you could possibly click on) that 3 people voted favorably for this, my humble blog, and that two readers have actually blogmarked me. so, THANKS! :) oh, and where ARE my manners?!

HI! howareya!? *waving to screen* i'll talkatcha soon!

things i would want for christmas if i was still 7 years old.

"...Includes recipes from: Rick Bayless, Mark Bittman, Erik Blauberg, Flo Braker, Clare Crespo, Tom Douglas, Rob Feenie, Bobby Flay, Gale Gand, Eleni Gianopolous, Martin Howard, Mollie Katzen, David Lebovitz, Emily Luchetti, Alice Medrich, Mary Sue Milliken, Cindy Pawlcyn, Caprial Pence, Guillermo Pernot, Colette Peters, Anne Quatrano, Amy Scherber, Rob Seideman, Art Smith, Walter Staib, Sherry Yard..."

"...eatery has over 40 funky pieces, including chairs, a revolving sushi table, chopsticks, and a karaoke stage with mike..."


"....VOICE FX technology allows action figures to not only shout commands and talk, but it also causes realistic facial movements of the characters...."

who am i kidding? i still want this stuff at 32. and i still have toys from my childhood that i hide from my child.

there are 1,440 minutes in a 24 hour day. i have already thought of myself as a horrible mother once today - only 1,439 times to go.

beastie boys! scratch and sniff.

by the end of the weekend (beastie boys, hideout, bowling), coats were getting aired out all over the house. my poor lungs - i feel like i was wearing them outside, scarf-like.

speaking of which... of the many high points from the beastie boys show i can include - my fake burberry scarf (it's a souvenir from my honemoon in venice) getting dissed, drinking "wine-from-a-box" brand vino @ $6.50/dixie cup and NOT getting carded >:( but despite these petit snafus- the beastie boys (showing a teeny tiny itty bitty little age) r o c k e d.

if you haven't seen this show - by all means, do yourself a favor and get your rheumatic fanny to whatever large impersonal arena is hosting this circus NOW (no, i can't translate this into italian, sorry). if you like vegas show dogs, the bass turned up and the beatbox in your chest cavity, your favorite arcade game playing on large concert screens, ruffle tuxedo shirts and the familiar garage screenprint tee - you will like this show. it's excessive and anthemic and yet, you'll feel right at home.

here's a link to their blog featuring the set list and comments - unforunately, no comments from the boys about the chicago show - http://www.beastieboys.com/blog.php?&page=4

and lastly, to the unknown lovely girl who was sitting next to me who was going in for chemo treatments the following day- BIG WARM HUGS - can't stop thinking about you! to the tall jerks who nicked the seats in front of me - a UTI on your bachelor pad! to S - thank you for reminding me that even though i feel (and probably look) 40 - i'm still in my early 30s and more than overly qualified to shake my old school *ss with the p.y.t.

knitting palooza!!!

i actually made something!!!

i am a knitting fiend. if i can't hear the scritch scritch of graphite on cold press bristol board i guess the clicking of metal (yuck) knitting needles will have to suffice. would you buy this scarf from me? or here's another prop - if you buy the yarn, i will make you a scarf. i'll post a pic of the another one i'm finishing later. i need to visit ye olde art supply store... oh, creative process, you are the butch to my femme.

to shower or to blog? that is the question.

...i can't believe i'm sitting here typing.


a severed hand - realistic, no?

my little pets here turned out to be the hit of the front porch yesterday. so glad the postman doesn't deliver on sundays. he would've had my head on a plate - he's a very surly & unpredictable man, the neighborhood postal worker...

well, my display of 288 spiders really didn't look all that impressive. you'd think that 288 spiders would prove to be a daunting obstacle course (yeah, they're fake. but their shiny, black, eight legged, heebie jeebie creepie crawlie-ness is evident nonetheless).

the littlest kids were only slightly freaked out (due to the ratio of LARGE dad to tiny spider). it seemed they were more disturbed by the bloody severed hand (mwahahahahahaha!) than the spiders. so, i'll have to saunter off into the halloween sunset and retool my plague scenario for next year.

the wierd thing is that in the light of this morning it looks as if i have fewer than 288 spiders. which could mean many (ok, 3.) things:

1) kids have absconded with my spiders
2) birds and squirrels have absconded with my spiders
3) the spiders are actually real and were shipped to me in a state of suspended animation. during the night, they woke up and are eagerly awaiting my bidding (they owe me since i cut off their rings - the shackle of indentured servitude to some high school goth wannabe) somewhere in the deep dark recesses of the house.

please Lord, let my plastic ringless minions be hungry and make them eat all the freakin' infidel ants!

...like you needed proof that i'm hormonal...

so, much to my delight - mothers and company came back to prove me hormonal. not like anyone needed proof - it's been quite evident ever since the 7th grade.

anyway, mothers & co found another group with an opening and children the same age as e. so, without much in the way of "below-standard-daytime-melodrama", e and i were branded and given the secret entry handshake. i really hope this works out 'cause this branding looks permanent.

so, to update, the rest of friday was insane. it had started well indeed and slowly unraveled into a miasmatic (is that a word?) dimension of h*ll. d asked me if e liked the train rides. of COURSE, she liked the train rides. did I like the train rides? um, in a word, NO! to ride a train with e is like injecting her with pure caffeine. i think i avoided a couple of lawsuits - harassment by cheerio, death by stroller and random acts of infant vandalism - and i don't think i burst a blood vessel.

because that happened on the NEXT train ride. i rarely have a hard time on the L so, the law of averages bit my *ss this time. e managed to get away from me at the lasalle st stop. and the last vision i had before my blood vessel burst was of e running out to the platform while i was stuck struggling to free myself and the stroller from the clutches of the the dreaded turnstile. do we not possess the technology to replace the archaic turnstile? is this what they are hiding in area 51?!

so, thanks to the powers that be, e did not fall to her untimely death and i was saved by a bored transit employee.

finally, we arrived at our (first) destination and the pediatrician's conclusion - e is very tall and of average weight though still something of a pinhead. but, all in all - a beautiful healthy girl.

*heavens open, sunlight streams thru, cherubims sing* .... and that will be $65 please.

that marvelous day continued with an entirely too lengthy walk for me and e (in stroller) and a headache that i still have despite the walkabout ending at the chiropractor office. afterwards, d met us at the office and drove us home in very unhappy, heavy, third world traffic.

my conclusion - none of us were likely candidates for darwin awards that "banner" day - SO YAY US! :)

p.s. laundry still not done. made yummy pork chops for dinner!

laundry

i REALLY have to do the laundry and whip up dinner... so i'll make this quick.

a) speaking of laundry. d needs to go back to the eye doc or something. i keep finding e's clothes in my piles and my clothes is e's piles. mind you - e is the average 19mo baby daughter. i am 5'4" and apprx 120 lbs. how could i possibly fit into an 18mo outfit? and conversely, how could an 18mo fit into anything i wear without it puddling to the ground (assuming it of course stayed ON)?

b) another thought i had today... i think my strollers are conspiring against me or at least trying to sway this undecided voter. the maclaren (the imported) stroller has lately been leaning left. SERIOUSLY. it has never done this before. with very little forward action, the maclaren will steer left.

but what's even STRANGER... the (gently used, domestic) baby jogger II that i just recently bought from K leans right. no kidding. with very little forward push, the jogging stroller steers right. it's very odd.

i'm still undecided, but noticing that i'm using the jogging stroller more often than the maclaren. i'm going to stop talking about this because it's giving me the willies - a little too "Bobos in Paradise" for me.

c) i have to remember to:

cancel my hair appt, reschedule for 6 wks from now.
make a new chiro appt
call the electrician again (the things i do for halloween)
send netflix movies back
call d&s for final $ amt owed to them & for v's #
call cat groomers for appt.

what am i feeling today...

besides mild cramping? hmm...

i guess frustration.

i'm disappointed that e and i have been placed in a playgroup with a 4mo, a6mo and a 10mo. that bugs me, frankly. i will most likely not join this playgroup. thanks for nothing, "mothers & co".

i'm bummed that instead of greeting me with a "good morning", i get a "you HAVE to air the house out. it smells like chicken." good freaking morning to you too!

i'm exhausted just looking at the kitchen. i never seem to make a dent in there. and we even use paper plates - A LOT!

my "workday" starts the minute i wake up and doesn't end until e goes down. that's what? a 12 hour day? and i can't even apply for workers comp or harassment. if i had a dime for every elbow to the nose/breast/windpipe. i would be.... broke, but not penniless.

i feel absolutely crummy today... we're ordering in.

please pimp your ride....

so, e and i almost got run over today while crossing a street with a four way stop in our HUGE RED jogging stroller.

this guy is talking on his cell phone (of course). the bass on his stereo system is turned WAY up - so far up that the windows are shaking. e and i were already in the intersection. the guy in a HOOPTI BEIGE MINIVAN (!) is approaching the stop sign and blows it! *insert schreech here* missing my posterior by inches...

so, please unknown man. stay off yer cell and pimp yer ride... ya look RIDICULOUS!!!

ya learn something new everyday

i just saw the weirdest looking bird... the cassowary. it is a flightless, fast running, pugnacious forest dwelling bird in Australia and Malay, smaller than the ostrich and emu. i don't quite get the evolution of the freaky helmet used for "forest crashing". there's a fashion victim if i ever saw one. i also learned that the ostrich DOES NOT actually bury it's head in the sand. is NO metaphor sacred!?

apparently, we will not be running haphazardly with the other frenzied children tomorrow (DARN!) and next week, swim class is cancelled due to the repairing of a hole (strangely, a perfect women's size 8) in the pool. it's a mystery.

the plastic spiders arrived and have been de-ringed. they are ringless. strange how they keep popping up everywhere. i suspect the cats get into the bag and toss them around willy nilly in the twilight hours.

the severed bloody hand is very disappointing... the designer/manufacturer is a hack. you'd think they'd never seen a hand before. hmmm, in some circles that last statement could be considered very politically incorrect. i apologize.

today is my fourth wedding anniversary and all i can think of as a gift for d is the third season of the simpsons. not a shining moment for me. i'm usually much more creative. it's a beautiful day- i wish he wasn't working. :(

so, i checked out that virtual model website (http://www.myvirtualmodel.com) .
and this sorta looks like me.
it's very disturbing.

all i want is a GIANT bag of spiders!!!

so... that's the extent of my imagination when it comes to halloween.... i want to litter the front yard, steps and porch with plastic spiders. there's a simplicity to it that appeals to me.

you want candy? the least you can do is walk thru a legion of black spiders... mwahahahahahaha! and yet, i can't find a bag of black spiders - anywhere. there is obviously a shortage of black spiders - my idea is not so original after all.

still no ideas about costumes for e. clown, bobbysoxer, and tinkerbell are no longer in the realm of possibilities. this morning, tattoo from fantasy island came up... still ruminating over that one.

my pumpkins look awesome. i carved a ghost in one and a skull head on another. the trip to children's farm was worth it - worth the crazy baby pigs chasing after my daughter, worth the cold that it seems i'm developing from who knows what that i picked up, worth the little kids staring at me (some things just never change)... achoo! achoo!

ugh. achoo! looking forward to this weekend in lake geneva! must find a more flattering swimsuit!

hearing loss

i think i've experienced hearing loss since the birth of e. can i apply for workers comp/disability?

the pantry has sprung a drip. turns out the tank to the upstairs toilet was leaking... i think it was lamenting since no one uses it. it's e's bathroom - she can't even say "potty". and so, the hemorraging of money continues.

oh! and i can't open the front door. the lock jammed. ... a call to the locksmith is in. why do i have to be here when the locksmith arrives? it's not like he can't let himself in. ok, yeah, there is the whole security factor... but really, in an ideal world... he could come in, fix the lock and bill me. well, he could....

...must. start. reading... middlesex/eugenides for book club! if only to prove to myself that i can still read past the kindergarten level.

hmm, i think i have been food poisioned by the wendy's.

flowers and a tan

d came home with some lovely flowers. :)

i always forget to tell him things that happen during the day or phonecalls that were made/received.

like - a woman complimented me out of the blue the other day saying. "my, what a lovely tan you have! has anyone ever told you that?" i said "no, but thank you" (thinking since i'm filipino). but a compliment nonetheless.

and t and s called to ask for the handyman's # and were just so nice - so glad were neighbors.

e is able to say more and more words. she picked up "cheerio", "ball" and "cute" recently.

feeling better about the whole flea fiasco... sort of. have to buy plastic pants!

what does a lizard say?

what does a lizard say? 

fleas

so, it's been a while...

last night, i couldn't sleep because we found out the cats had fleas...

and how did i come to this conclusion? i got in bed. turned off the light. and got bit by a flea on my left arm three times. yes, i am officially "flea bitten". that's right, laugh it up.

thankfully, the pest guys come on friday to spray for all manner of milipede, spider and ant... adding flea to the list shouldn't be so hard... disgusting, yes, by all means... oh, and the cats are getting dipped this weekend. ha.

anyway, e has been awful clingy lately. esthetically, it suits me. i love it. especially when she needs to hug me while she gobbles up cheerios. on the practical side of things, she is the rock to my sisyphus (sp?).

have to think up halloween stuff. have to talk/write to i.